My Sister, My Strength
by Darkling183
Summary: A fanfic that picks up where Ending 1 of the game left off. The early chapters are stand alone stories, with the rest forming a multi part conclusion.
1. Differences

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections.  
_

**1. Differences  
**

by Darkling

* * *

It was only a half day at the university today. Everyone's excited about the summer festival. I'm just glad to be able to take some time off from lectures.

Summer is definitely here now. I find myself wandering downtown in the rising heat. People hurry past, not wanting to stay out in the sun any longer than they have to. I'm moving aimlessly, however.

I'm surprised – and yet not surprised – when my feet bring me to a halt in front of the bookstore. The interior is dimly lit and hard to see into, due to the glare outside. But I stand at the window for a moment, looking at the display. Reference books, popular novels, comics... and grass-of-Parnassus growing in a little flowerpot. It mustn't get much sun in there, but it seems to be doing well enough.

The display is neat and orderly, but not antiseptic. It appeals to window shoppers to come inside and look around.

Taking a deep breath, I do just that.

For a moment I can't see anything. Purple blurs from the bright sunlight swim in my vision. The smell of the bookshop is a mixture of the old and the new. The smell of dust and old paper that lingers around second-hand books. And the crisp scent of recently published editions, their text set in laser-sharp clarity.

It's a curious mix, but not one I dwell on. Because beneath and above it all is a very familiar scent. I doubt anyone else walking in here would notice it. But I spent years with this fragrance – and its owner – on my mind.

Kana is there at the back of the store.

A box is open on the chair next to her, and she's slotting new manga into the proper positions on the shelves. Her back is to me, her black hair falling straight and glossy over the fabric of her light pink blouse. As always, her posture is ramrod straight, slightly uncomfortable looking.

But she's happy. I can tell. I haven't always been able to tell, but it's unmistakable now.

It almost hurts me to realise it. We haven't seen each other in so long. The last time she came home for dinner was almost a month ago. Ever since she moved out, I've deliberately tried to avoid this place. Not always successfully. But to visit her here, in her new life, would just be too real.

The distance hasn't helped, though.

The store is empty apart from the two of us. It's early afternoon and the heat is beginning to rise in here. A ceiling fan whirls listlessly above me.

Kana, why haven't you noticed me yet?

"Hi, Bro," she says, without turning around. Almost as if she'd heard my thought. "Long time no see."

"I've been busy."

She slides one last volume into place before turning around, pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear. And smiles at me. A smile blossoms on my face in return, automatically.

Kana.

"Me too," she says, abandoning the shelf stacking and coming closer to me. She goes up on tippy toes, bracing her hands on my chest, and kisses my cheek. "Do you want something to drink? I have iced coffee upstairs, or tea if you'd like."

I'm too busy just drinking her in to take much notice of her words. She's still short for her age – will she really be twenty-one next year? – and slight of frame, despite her improved appetite. But the change in her isn't physical. Her attitude has changed so much these past two years. There's an assurance in her stride that wasn't there before. And her smile, always warm and welcoming, comes much more easily. Her eyes are clear and bright in the dim interior of the shop.

"Bro?" she asks, after a moment.

"Whatever's easiest," I say, freeing myself from the trance. I look at her, to find her violet eyes lingering on me as well. But they quickly dart away when my gaze meets hers. She smiles bashfully, evoking memories of the old Kana.

I hastily push them down.

"Come up, then," she offers, leading the way to the staircase. "You picked a good time to drop in. Business is slow at this time of day."

"I guess people have better things to do than walk around in this heat," I say as I follow her up the stairs. She's wearing a long blue skirt that clings to her narrow hips and the elegant lines of her legs. House slippers are on her small feet. She must keep her outside shoes upstairs. I wonder if she even leaves the store much. It can't be easy for her, living alone like this.

She pauses at the top of the stairs, looking down at me and smiling. "That gives us time to catch up, then." She holds out her hand, and I take it, though I'm more than capable of climbing the remaining steps myself.

Kana's living area isn't much bigger than the store's floor space below. Yet she's done her best to make it feel homey. Flowers grow in planters on the windowsill. The tatami covering the floor is clean and dust-free. She doesn't have a couch, but there's a TV against one wall, and a small table propped up on its side against the opposite wall.

"Please, sit down," Kana invites me. She moves over to the small kitchenette and opens the tiny fridge below the counter. "Hmm. I have one can of coffee and two green teas. Which would you like?"

"Tea is fine," I say, unlacing my shoes and leaving them on the top step.

Holding two cans in her left hand, her delicate fingers splayed out to keep a hold on both, she closes the fridge and ambles over to flip the table down on its legs. She sits down on the floor opposite me and places the can of tea in front of me. Then she sits back, opening her own drink. She chose tea as well, I notice.

I crack open my can and take a long drink from it. The tea is cold and refreshing. I start to feel as if my head has cleared a little.

"How has business been?" I ask, looking at Kana sitting across from me. She cradles her drink in front of her with both hands, almost protectively.

"It's been improving," she says, happily. "I decided to start stocking a wider range of manga and more English language textbooks. They cost more to get into stock, but it turned out to be worthwhile. There are two cram schools close by, and I charge a smaller margin than the major booksellers."

"Doesn't that mean your profits go down?"

"Well, yes." She smiles, blushing slightly. "But they don't just buy textbooks. I've been selling much more manga now, with all the students coming in."

Students. Yes, I remember now. Shiro-san.

"And what about your non-professional life?" I ask, a bit uncomfortably. She can tell, too. Her eyes lower, and she lifts the tea can to her lips again, though she doesn't seem to drink any of it.

"You mean Shiro-kun, I take it," she says, quietly.

There's no need for me to say anything. She glances at me almost pleadingly, but I decide not to change the subject.

"We ended our relationship two months ago."

"The bastard!" I'm surprised by my own reaction. My hand tightens around the tea can. Kana looks at me, startled. "What reason did he—"

"I was the one," she says, quietly, her cheeks turning even more pink. "I was the one who ended it. Bro."

"Kana..." I force myself to relax, feeling like a fool. "Why did you decide to do that?"

Her long fingers play with the tab on her can of tea. Delicately. Nervously. "I liked him. I really did like him. He was so kind to me, and we had a good time whenever we were together. And he even..." She pauses, bending the tab back and forth. From beneath her long eyelashes, her violet eyes dare a quick glance at me. "He confessed to me," she says, in a rush. "A couple of months before we ended it. At the school festival."

I don't understand. "But if he confessed to you, and you liked him, then why did you...?"

"I liked him," she says, again. "More than Shinichi-kun or Hiromi-kun. I liked them all in different ways. But I couldn't confess to him."

For some reason, I don't dare to breathe. For fear of breaking this spell.

"It wasn't... the same." Her voice sounds fuzzy and distant. "It wasn't real. I couldn't imagine always being with him. Not like— I didn't return his feelings. He was nice, but he..."

She breaks off. The tea can slams down against the polished tabletop with a hollow clink. She holds it there, both hands wrapped around it, and looks down at the floor.

"Kana?" I ask, quietly.

"Bro..." Her shoulders tremble slightly. Her face is hidden by the long straight fall of her black hair. "I'm happy here. Working here. I'm a stronger person now. I know I can live on my own."

"I know. I've been very proud of you, Kana."

"Then..." Her voice is so soft I can barely hear it. "Then why do I feel this way still?"

My heart stops beating for a second.

"Kana?"

She shakes her head, her eyes still shrouded. It seems like she tries to say something a couple of times, but each time she just falls back to her sitting position. Crouched there on her knees, hiding her eyes, her hands clenched in front of her, she is suddenly Kana again. My little sister Kana.

The one I need to protect.

I don't know how I got there, but I'm beside her. I only hesitate for a second before reaching out to her. I draw her head to my chest. My hand comes up to cradle her head against me.

Slowly, almost unwillingly, her arms steal around me. She squeezes me, hard.

How long has it been since we've held each other this way? Months, if not years. There have been awkward moments in the years since she left home. Moments of lapse, where we held each other only to draw apart again, knowing nothing had changed. Kana's reasons for leaving hadn't changed. She didn't want to fall back into the trap of needing me and holding me back. It didn't matter that I actually wanted her to. It was her decision.

And now. What does this mean? Is this just a re-enactment of those scenes?

"Kana." It's comfortable here, holding her again. The fragrance of her hair and her skin. The softness of her hair. The pressure of her arms around me.

I want to kiss her.

"Bro..." Her voice is muffled against me, but I can still hear the sobs fighting to tear free. "Am I evil?"

"Evil for what?"

I have to ask. I have to know for sure.

She nuzzles closer to me. "Why do I still need you, Bro? Why? I don't want to burden you anymore, not after doing it for so long already. And you... You must have found someone by now. I've tried not to love you. I've tried to be a stronger person. But it's so hard..."

"You _are_ a stronger person," I tell her. "Look at you. You live on your own. You took over this business when the Kobayashis retired. You've enhanced its popularity. You are your own person."

"Then..." She sniffles helplessly. "Then why...?"

Do we need to say it? Really? Don't we both already know?

"It's different now, Kana. Different, but the same. You don't need me to protect you anymore. That's true. And I... I've done my best not to depend on you either. It was... hard. But it worked. We don't need each other anymore, Kana."

And now the sobs do tear loose from her. She pulls at the fabric of my shirt, crying against my chest.

"Bro..." she whispers, shakily. "I... I didn't want to hear you say that. But if that's what you..."

"Wait." I take her shoulders and push her back from me. She looks up at me, her eyes clouded with tears. "We don't need each other, I said. I don't need you now, it's true. You were right to move away."

"Please," she says, struggling to escape my hold. "Don't say any more."

I bring a hand up to cup her cheek. She freezes, staring at me. Perhaps remembering other moments like this. Remembering my touch. Not the way a brother touches his little sister.

"But I still want you, Kana."

Her eyes widen. They are so beautiful. I lean closer until I can feel the heat from her flushed wet cheeks, till I can feel her rapid breathing on my skin. Till I can almost hear her heart pounding.

"I. Still. Love. You."

And we kiss. We kiss as if the last few years never happened. She clings to me tight, and I crush her against me in return. My little sister. My Kana.

For a while, it seems, everything is right again. Everything is as it should be.

Or better.

* * *

_Read more of Darkling's Kana Little Sister fanfics at **kana. darklingnet. com**._


	2. Eyes of the Heart

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**2. Eyes of the Heart  
**

by Darkling

* * *

You were the only one who ever held my hand.

Apart from our parents, I mean. But at times, even when they were there, I could feel that they didn't _want_ to be there. It made me feel bad to know that I was a burden to them. But I couldn't stand on my own. They loved me. They did their best for me.

It was different with you, though. Bro. You didn't _have_ to be there. You had problems and worries and concerns of your own. I... I always looked up to you, even when you were mean to me. You were my big brother. I loved you, even if I was a bit scared of you.

And then things started to change. I held your hand. It was bigger and stronger than mine. Your skin was warm, and tanned from being outside so much. I never had much opportunity to go outside.

I wanted good things for you. I wanted you happy, Bro. But I also wanted you there with me. When you went away and I was alone at the hospital again, something would shrink inside my chest. I would read the books you brought me and count the nights, the meals, the dialysis treatments... counting down the time until I'd see you again.

'My brother is in the fifth grade. My brother is so kind, he always visits me at the hospital and brings me books to read. The hospital used to be boring, but I like the hospital now. My brother...

'I love my brother.'

Before I knew the word 'incest', before I knew 'right' or 'wrong', I knew I loved you.

I don't know if it's wrong. When I left you, a few years ago, I didn't know what I felt. Life was suddenly opening up in front of both of us. A bright gateway that we just had to walk through... and I couldn't hold your hand. Suddenly, despite all those years when your hand was the only thing I had to cling to... despite the comfort I took from the touch of your fingers... Suddenly I was allowed to live.

To live... but without you.

It seemed like the only thing I could do. I remember those days when I was sixteen and still in hospital, times when you'd look at me and the light would change in your eyes. And I knew, somehow, what was going on in your head.

_Just a little longer. I will do this for Kana. I'll hold on just a little longer._

Bro, you turned your _life_ off for me. I didn't want that! I didn't _ask_ to feel this way about you. And I... I never wanted to be a burden to you, holding you back. If I could, I would have given you my life. I would have done anything to see you happy. Happy without me.

But instead, you gave your life to me. You gave me a part of yourself that's keeping me alive, that keeps my heart beating. The hospital isn't my home anymore. I don't have to endure the long white days, and the tubes, and the prodding. I was suddenly _real_, Bro. I was suddenly alive.

I thought maybe I could make you a little happy. Give something back to you. Welcome you home with a kiss. But even that was pure selfishness. It made _me_ happy! It filled my heart to the brim to be able to hold you, and touch you, and be with you. Studying, cooking, loving... Things that normal, healthy people did. And you loved me back. I knew it. Knew it with everything buried deep inside of me.

And that was where the problem started.

There are things we know, and things we believe. I knew I loved you. I knew it made me happy. And I wanted to believe it did the same for you.

But...

But it had to be kept a secret. I believed it was incest. I believed it was wrong, while I knew that it was nothing but sheer joy.

Do our minds rule our hearts? Or is it the other way around?

I loved you. I _love_ you. I can keep saying it forever and it'll never lose its meaning. Love. The times when you held my hand, or stroked my hair. The afternoons when you'd knock on my door and walk in, saying, "I'm back."

_I'm back._ You belonged with me, Bro. The times we were apart were nothing but empty spaces between the hours where I truly _lived_.

I learned the ugly words from the dictionary. Incest. Taboo. I started to realise that what I felt wasn't considered 'normal'. But my feelings were all I had. If I turned them off, if I turned you away... what would I have left?

The words couldn't change the way I felt. But they did frighten me. I was scared you'd start hating me if you found out how I felt. But at the same time, I... I wanted you to find me attractive. I was scared and thrilled, and my heart would race whenever I saw you. I knew I could never tell you my feelings. But I could keep wishing that you'd find out, some day.

The pendant you gave me. I'd cling to it after the lights went out at night, when there was nothing but the faintest sliver of moonlight to shine on me. I would whisper to it, five times.

_I love my brother._

_ I love him so much. _

_ I want to be with my brother, always. _

_ I love you, Bro. Please don't hate me. _

_ Please... don't hate me. _

And I would go to sleep with my voice whispering my fantasies back to me. I invested my dreams in the gift you gave me, Bro. And I dreamed about you anyway.

I erased the messages every morning... and recorded them again every night. It made it easier to face you in the afternoons, without those thoughts welling up inside me all the time. I tucked my heart away. And I smiled for you, as I thought a sister should.

But then things started changing. It was April, and everyone started treating me differently. Miki, our parents... even you. It took me a while, but I eventually realised that something had to be wrong. Everyone treated me as if I were fragile, as if I might break if they breathed on me.

I felt as if time were running out. I didn't know why. But I knew that if I didn't tell you soon... then I might never get the chance. I knew I had no right to confess my feelings to you. But I was petrified of... of dying without ever having _tried_ to tell you.

And I did try, a couple of times. It was so wrong of me. And each time you gently turned me away. Why did I keep believing, in the face of that? I knew I loved _you_. But how stupid of me was it to hope that you could ever love me back? You had Yumi. She was pretty, and healthy, and more fun than me. Me – your little sister. The one who'd hide behind you and clutch your sleeve. What could I ever offer you?

Even when I got better, even when I left the hospital behind for good, I found it almost impossible to believe that we were together, finally. That I was worth loving. How was I good enough for you? What was I contributing? We couldn't even go out in public together; not as a couple, not the way I wished we could. It was as if I were locked away in that hospital room again – the only times when I was really alive were when we were _hiding_ ourselves from the world!

I wanted to live. I believed that. I needed to walk in the real world, and love freely. Openly.

And you, Bro... I didn't want to hide you away in my room, wrapped in my pathetic love, for the rest of your life. How could I pretend that I loved you if I could restrict you like that? If I could... if I could turn you into _me_?

I walked away. I walked away and I cried for weeks. But I needed to be stronger. I believed I needed a love that wasn't 'wrong'.

And, well... here we are. Again.

It's _not_ wrong. Is it? I mean, we're not really siblings, are we? We just _think_ we're siblings. That doesn't make us actually related. If you think about it, people can have siblings they've never met. If they met and... and fell in love, would that be any better or worse than my feelings for you?

Worse, you might say, because they're so closely related, biologically speaking. People who love each other are emotionally intimate, like we are, Bro. Just because we've been that way ever since we were children doesn't make it _wrong_, does it? If anything, doesn't it make it stronger? Better?

Wh–what _is_ incest, Bro? It's a concept, a taboo that guards against genetic inbreeding. It's, it's something not natural. Sisters shouldn't fall in love with their brothers, related or not. I've tried to believe I shouldn't love you, but I _know_ I do. I can never stop loving you! So... so what do we do? Tell me! How can... how can we put this right?

* * *

Kana's words are making my brain hurt.

We're sitting in the park in the fading evening light, perched on the swings next to each other. She closed up the bookstore early tonight, and we've been sitting here ever since, watching the sun set. She kicks restlessly at the ground beneath her feet, rocking back and forth slightly with the motion.

I look across at her, the shadow of my head and shoulders stretching out to spill against her hips. Her cheeks are flushed pink with the emotion behind her words. She clutches the chains on either side of her, white fingers curled tightly around the metal links. She's delicate, and beautiful.

"That night..." she murmurs. "That time when you first kissed me – I didn't believe it was real. It couldn't really be happening. It was like something I'd dreamed, only a thousand times better. My 'strange' dreams, the ones I was so ashamed of."

"I loved you a long time before that, Kana."

"I wish I'd known." She turns her head slightly to look at me out of the corner of her eye, squinting a bit against the dusky light that stains her skin red. "Though I'm sure I wouldn't have felt any less terrified about it."

"You weren't the only one."

She smiles, gently. "I love you, Bro."

"I know."

"I love you," she repeats, softly. "I love you. There are words you can keep saying and they just stop making any sense. They lose all their meaning. But these words come from inside me, Bro. From inside my heart. They're nothing _but_ meaning."

I can't think of anything to say in response. I just kick my feet, swinging back a little, then coasting forward. My shadow swoops and dives over Kana's long blue skirt. She brings her hands down to her lap, and stares at them for a while. She's thinking. She's always been smarter than me. I can just accept the fact that I love her. But Kana... Kana needs to work things out.

"Can we do this?" she asks.

I skid to a halt. "Can we do what?"

"Can we love each other?"

"Don't we already?"

She whirls to look at me, hair flying in the summer breeze. "It's _wrong_! It's wrong it's wrong it's wrong! I... I can't work it out. I can't get past it. What's the matter with me? Why can't I..." She pauses, her expression twisted with pain and indecision. "Why can't I make it work?"

We stare at each other for a few moments. Her eyes begging, pleading with me. How can I help her, though? I've probably spent as much time as she has, trying to figure things out, to no avail. Trying to reconcile the fact that I love her with the fact that she was raised as my—

My sister.

And suddenly, it comes to me.

"Because you're still thinking like Kana _imouto-chan_," I tell her. "My little sister."

She draws back, looking confused. "But I _am_ still your—"

"Yes. Yes, you are. But you're also Kana Todo."

"Er..." She doesn't know what to make of that.

"Kana Todo," I say, quietly. "The woman I love."

It dawns on her, slowly. "Bro..."

I don't know why, but it's so clear. We understand each other. We're meant to be together.

"Kana."

She glances up at me with a tentatively hopeful look on her face.

"Try 'Taka'," I suggest.

Her hands fly to her mouth, and her eyes go wide. I chuckle.

"Go on. 'Taka'."

She stammers. "T— T..."

You'd think it was the hardest thing in the world to say, or maybe the first word she's ever _had_ to say. Her brow is creased with concentration. Her mouth moves silently, forming the syllables over and over again.

Go on, Kana. I know you can do it.

"Taka," she whispers, in a tiny voice. "I... love Taka."

Yes, Kana. Again.

"I... I'm Kana Todo," she says, her voice rising slightly. "Kana Todo... and I love Taka. I love Taka Todo. I..." She chokes, her shoulders hunching over. "I love him. I do."

"And I'm Taka," I add, softly. "And I love Kana Todo. More than anyone in the entire world."

She just sits there in my shadow, hands still clutched to her face. The knuckles are white. She's trembling, almost convulsively.

"Kana?" I ask. "Kana, are you cold? Do you need anything?"

Slowly, she raises her eyes and looks at me. Through the tears, a smile shines through, brilliantly. And she shakes her head.

"No," she says. "I don't need anything. I just want to keep looking at you."

We sit on the swings, staring into each other's eyes as the sun sets. A faint reddish haze streaks the darkening sky, fading almost visibly as the minutes drift past. I move towards her in the dusk, bending down to find her lips. Her arms come up and clutch mine. And our shadows blend, melting away into the night.


	3. Festival Night

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**3. Festival Night  
**

by Darkling

* * *

It started out innocently enough.

"Hi, Kana."

"_Bro!_" She sounds happy to hear my voice. "_I was just thinking of you._"

"Yeah. Me too."

If I know Kana, there's a deep pink blush to her cheeks right about now. "_Is it stupid for me to say that I miss you?_" she asks. "_We just saw each other on Monday..._"

"No. No, it's not stupid at all."

"_I'm glad._" If I close my eyes, I can picture her warm smile. She's at the bookstore right now, and I'm at the university on one of the pay phones. I wish she wasn't so far away, though.

"What are you doing Saturday night?" I ask.

"_Well..._" she says, musingly. "_I was planning on taking inventory, but that can keep. Why? What did you have in mind?_"

"The summer festival's on at the shrine, silly. I thought you might like to go."

"_Oh, yes, that's right,_" she says. Kana's never been terribly good with dates and holidays. While she was growing up, her days all tended to blur together. "_I'd love to go. I don't have a yukata, though._"

"I'll bring you one of Mom's," I tell her. "I'm sure she won't mind."

"_They're not going?_" she asks, sounding somewhat anxious.

"Nope. You know Mom and Dad – always work, work, work. Non-stop."

"_Yeah,_" she says, softly. "_I know Mom and Dad._"

"What time do you close shop on Saturday? I'll come pick you up."

"_Um... around five would be good. That'll give us plenty of time to change and head out._"

"I'll see you at five then, Kana."

Her voice lowers, just slightly, with a husky undertone to it. "_I love you, Taka._"

"I love you too."

* * *

And now, here we are at the festival. Kana looks gorgeous in a pink and white yukata with cherry blossom designs on it. Her obi is darker pink, almost rose-coloured. Her sandaled feet peek out daintily from beneath the folds of the yukata.

I'm wearing a far more understated yukata in dark blue, with a wide, dark gold sash. Dragonfly patterns dot my shoulders and back. It's an adult's yukata, one Mom and Dad bought for me when I turned seventeen. I remember Kana's eyes shone the first time she saw me wearing it. Of course, I didn't know what it meant at the time. Not really.

There are people everywhere enjoying the lively atmosphere. Parents with their kids, noisy teenagers, elderly grandparents, young couples... All just here to enjoy themselves and have a good time.

I slide my arm through Kana's and link hands with her as we finish climbing the steps to the shrine. She smiles, ducking her head, as if she wishes she could disappear into the neckline of her yukata. But we're really not that well-known here. Kana spent so much time in the hospital as she grew up that she hardly made acquaintances, let alone friends. And as for me... I've never been one to draw attention to myself. We're just another anonymous couple here.

"I love you, Kana," I murmur, to give her courage.

She smiles up at me, squeezing my hand. "I know, Bro."

We take a step forward.

"Taka? Taka _Todo_? Is that you?"

Kana reflexively tries to shake her fingers free from mine, but I just hold on tighter, refusing to let go. We turn in tandem to see the person who called my name. She's about my height – a little taller, embarrassingly enough – and wearing an elaborate yukata in vibrant green, trimmed with white. Her hair is elegantly caught up above her head and fastened in place with what look like two lacquered chopsticks.

"Arisa-chan!" I greet her. We embrace briefly, though it's made awkward by the fact that I still have to cling to Kana's hand. I can practically _feel_ her squirming to get away. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Too long, Taka-kun." She smiles. Then her gaze drifts idly to Kana, who's hanging back behind me, at arms' length. "And who is this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say, pulling Kana forward with difficulty. "This is Kana-chan. My date."

Kana loses any semblance of a neck she might have had, and turns bright red. "Pl–pleased to meet you," she says, meekly, holding out her free hand.

Arisa just arches one eyebrow at me, as if to say, _Slumming it a little, aren't you, Taka-kun?_ But she takes Kana's hand pleasantly enough, clasping it briefly. "Pleased to meet you too, Kana-san," she says. "How long have you and Taka-kun been going out?"

"O–oh..." Kana stammers, pulling her hand back as soon as Arisa releases it. "A... a while now. Seems like forever, in fact..."

"We've known each other for a while," I say, drawing Kana closer to my side and feeling her body trembling. "But we've only been going out together for a few weeks."

Arisa looks from me to Kana, and then back again. Then she shrugs, and laughs. "He's a great guy, Kana-chan," she says, with a smile. "Kind, and very gentle."

"I... know," Kana says, warming to the subject. "I'm very lucky."

"Well, I'll be off," Arisa says. "Have fun tonight, both of you."

"Thanks! You too!" I call, as she drifts off into the crowd again. Then I lower my gaze to look at Kana, who's still standing there beside me, apparently frozen. "Kana?"

"She called you 'Taka-kun'," Kana whispers. "Does that mean... Do you know her from university, or from... from...?"

"Her name's Arisa Hayashi," I tell her. "She and I went out together for a few months, last year."

"I..." Kana slips her arm into mine. "I think I'm already jealous of her."

"Don't be," I say, reassuringly. "We didn't mean that much to each other. It was mostly about the sex, really. The number of times she dragged me to a love hotel..."

Her grip tightens on my arm, and she stares up at me. "Love... love hotel?" she repeats, blankly.

"She wears black underwear. It's her favourite colour," I lie, glibly. "And I should know, considering how many times I—"

"_Stop_ it!" Kana squeals, pulling her hands free and covering her ears. "I can't believe you're telling me these th— I, I can't..." She pauses. After a long moment, she opens her eyes and looks up at me, somewhat sheepishly. "It's not true, is it?"

"Sorry," I say, "but I couldn't help it. And the look on your face was just so cute..."

"Dirty boy," she grumbles, elbowing me.

"You know I prefer white underwear anyway, don't you, Kana?"

"White... white is boring." She straightens up, casting her gaze around the festival grounds. "Come on," she says, tugging at my arm. "I'm hungry."

We end up in line at a takoyaki stall. The attendants have just made a fresh batch, and Kana and I are among the first customers to get a taste. After paying, we take our container of crisp takoyaki pieces and move away. The aroma rising from the plastic box is positively distracting.

Kana and I find a little alley next to a yakisoba stand, away from the general bustle of foot traffic. Opening the box, we take a piece of takoyaki each, using the toothpicks provided. They're still quite hot, so we eat carefully, blowing on them vigorously before bringing them anywhere near our mouths.

"Delicious!" I say happily, taking another cautious bite from mine.

"Pink," Kana says, looking at me with just the barest glint of mischief in her eye.

I pause, mid-bite. "Mmph?"

"I'm wearing pink underwear tonight," she says, gaily.

_Eh?_

As images of Kana in pink underwear flood into my brain, I forget to chew properly. The mouthful of takoyaki tries to go down the wrong way, and I start choking. Kana quickly grabs the container from my hands before my coughing fit spills it all over the ground.

"Now we're even," she says, airily. I give her a wounded glance, still doubled over.

"Does that mean..." I cough, gingerly, hacking up half-chewed morsels of batter. "Does that mean you're _not_ wearing pink, then?"

She finishes her piece of takoyaki and delicately licks the sauce from her fingers. "I'll let you check, if you like."

"And who's calling _who_ dirty?" I demand.

A smile bursts onto her face, and she giggles. "Not _now_, Bro. But... later. Maybe." She brings the container up and holds it between us again. "For now, let's just finish these before they get cold."

* * *

We waste some time at the ring toss – we don't win anything. We walk hand in hand through the crowd, eating cotton candy. We browse idly through the second-hand book stalls. Kana restrains herself and only buys five books – a historical novel, a collection of poetry, two contemporary novels and a romantic girls' manga.

"I've been wanting to read this one for _ages_," she says defensively, when I give her a questioning glance about it. "It's out of print."

I laugh and kiss her cheek. "I understand."

Holding hands, we wander away from the festival, looking for a place to watch the fireworks from. The brown paper sack is tucked under Kana's arm. She's happy, and her eyes are alight with the feeling.

It's hard to find a decent vantage point on the hill; most of the good spots are already taken. We eventually find a place at the base of a large tree. Its branches block out some of the sky, but it's shadowy and secluded underneath the foliage. Kana sets her books aside and sits beside me. She wriggles closer, for comfort, and I slip my arm over her shoulders.

"Together again," she murmurs, resting her head against me.

"I've enjoyed our date so far."

"Me too. I never knew it could be so easy."

"What could?"

"To lose yourself in a crowd," she says, lifting her head and turning to look at me, a blissful expression on her face. "To forget who I am and whose arm I'm holding... to stop being Kana Todo and just be... me. Me, walking with the person I love. Not my _oniichan_ or even... or even 'Taka'. Just you."

The first firework of the night explodes overhead, the distant rumble heralding a glittering shower of blue and yellow sparks that drift slowly towards the ground.

"You sound happy, Kana."

The glare of the fireworks is reflected in her eyes as she gazes skyward. A double burst sends brilliant shards of blue and red streaming into the night. "They're so beautiful, Bro. I... I want to do this again, next year. And the year after. Can we do that? Can we come back here, and sit under this tree, and hold each other this way, again and again?"

"I don't see why not," I say. "In fact, why don't we promise?"

"No," she says, still looking up at the sky. A pinwheel of green and gold casts its shimmering radiance onto her cheeks.

"No?" I ask, puzzled.

"A promise is something you have to keep, even if you don't want to," Kana says. "I never want it to be that way between us, Taka. Both of us should always be happy doing what we _want_ to do."

I laugh, bringing my hand up to tousle her hair. "You've got a lot to learn about the real world, it seems."

"It should never be a burden," she insists, turning to look at me. Behind her, a trio of explosions streaks the sky with purple, gold and white. There's a faint sound of cheering from the hillside below and around us. "It should never be forced."

"But I... But I _want_ to come back here with you," I tell her, wondering why it hurts so much to say it. "Again and again. The two of us. I... I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to die knowing that I've spent more days _with_ you than without you... and that I'll never be alone, even when you're not there. Knowing that your heart will always be with me..."

Her eyes are shimmering, and not just from the fireworks anymore. She bends closer to me, her lips drifting closer to mine. "You do understand..." she whispers, as the gap continues to close. "Taka." She kisses me. Her lips are warm and sweet. I wrap my arms around her and we fall back to the grassy earth.

And above us, the fireworks continue, unnoticed.

* * *

It's late when we finally get back to the bookstore, but we're both happy. Kana locks the door behind us and follows me up the stairs to her apartment. I kick off my sandals and stagger onto the tatami, sinking against the far wall and letting my head slip back.

Kana, meanwhile, has taken her own sandals off and is wrestling open the closet where she keeps her futon. I watch her, idly, as she drags the mattress out and unfolds it, laying it neatly out on the floor. Her yukata hugs her figure a little less tightly now, blurring the outline of her body.

She snaps off the light, and the room is suddenly plunged into darkness. The faint glow from the streetlight outside is the only illumination.

I sense her crawling closer to me in the gloom.

"I only have one futon," she says, quietly. "Do you mind... if we share it?" I can vaguely see her moving as my eyes adjust to the dimness. She's unravelling her obi, loosening it and letting it slide over her hips. With the obi gone, her yukata slips open, hanging down in loose folds as she crawls nearer.

"Kana..."

She kisses me blindly. Passionately. I kiss her back, hard, sliding my hands into the folds of her yukata, pulling the fabric back to bare her left shoulder. Tugging the strap of her bra down, I dot kisses on her soft warm skin. She sighs lingeringly as I kiss her neck.

Slowly, we sink back onto the tatami. My hands wander lower, caressing the velvet skin of her waist and the slender curve of her hips. She moans quietly into my mouth as we kiss again.

I pause, hovering over her as she lies half-dressed beneath me. Pulling her left arm free of the yukata, she reaches up to tug at my sash, pulling it loose. Our eyes meet in the half-light, and she suddenly smiles.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you," I whisper, in reply. Sliding my arms under her, I unsnap her bra. With our faces so close, the urge to kiss again is irresistible. Her tongue slides teasingly into my mouth. I lift up her bra and lightly squeeze her breasts. She laughs. She gasps. We love each other.

It turns out that she _is_ wearing pink underwear. But it doesn't matter for very long.

After a while, it doesn't matter at all.

* * *

**Notes:**

_yukata_: a summer cotton kimono, somewhat reminiscent of a dressing gown

_takoyaki:_ a popular Japanese snack. Basically a crispy ball of batter, soft on the inside, with a filling of octopus pieces and green onion.

_yakisoba_: stir-fried egg noodles, also very popular at Japanese festivals and parties


	4. Guarded Moments

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**4. Guarded Moments  
**

by Darkling

* * *

Kana's lying on her futon, giggling to herself now and then as she reads through the romantic manga she bought at the festival. Propped up on her elbows, her legs idly kicking back and forth in the air, she doesn't seem to have a care in the world.

Of course, she's _meant_ to be downstairs doing stocktake – that's even what the sign she put in the window says: _Closed for stocktake. We will reopen tomorrow morning at the usual time. We apologise for the inconvenience._

It's early Sunday afternoon on a bright, hot summer's day, but even that's not enough to deter people from their need to shop. I'm sure there are shoppers wandering past and peering in at the display, even as we're sitting here.

I'm sitting across from the TV with the Sunday paper held out in front of me. It's too big and floppy; it's impossible to keep open without something to rest it on, and Kana's little dining table isn't nearly big enough. So I'm forced to deal with the fact that the paper keeps falling limp – creasing in the exact middle of the article I'm reading, usually. I just shake it out, tug it into shape, and wait for it to collapse again. My neck is starting to hurt from sitting like this.

Kana laughs again, then smiles wistfully with a quiet longing sigh. She loves her comic books. Of course, she pretty much loves _any_ kind of book – history, popular novels, pulp romance, philosophy, literature. It sometimes amazes me to think how much information must be stored inside Kana's head. No wonder she's so intelligent.

Of course, she didn't exactly have a choice of entertainment when she was growing up. It wasn't as if she could get up and play sports, or go out with her friends. No, Kana led a sheltered existence, hidden away in her room at the hospital. You might think that would have led to her being _small_-minded, her possibilities limited by the fact that she knew so little about the real world. Never having lived in it.

But Kana reached out and latched onto the world the only way she could – through books. I wasn't the one who started that, though I certainly started influencing her tastes in reading material when we were in primary school. I sure as heck never gave her any _romantic_ manga, though! Maybe Miki's the one to blame for that.

No, it was probably Kana herself. Her mind is inquisitive and acquisitive, always starving for new information, new thoughts to occupy itself with. That's another thing that made Kana's childhood a lot different from anyone else's – the amount of time she had alone to herself, to think. She didn't get to spend much time around other people, whether her own age or not.

I guess it's only natural that we love people who care about us, people who are always there. For Kana, the list of those people was almost painfully short. Kana told me a lot of this herself, just the other night. Sometimes I wonder what might have happened if Mom and Dad hadn't adopted Kana. What if Kana had been healthy, somehow, and we'd passed each other on the street? What if we'd been at the same high school together? Would I have even noticed her? Would she have noticed _me_?

There's no point imagining things, though. What's real is real: she _is_ my little sister, in name if not in blood. And I grew up unaware of the blood part – I just knew she was Kana. I wanted to protect her. And she... she just needed to love and be loved. It let her know she was alive.

She loves me back. That's the part that keeps staggering me. Even now, years after we admitted it to each other. After she walked away. After we found each other again. She's Kana, my little sister, and _she loves me_.

Now _I'm_ the one who's giggling to myself.

Kana looks up at me, closing the manga over one finger. "Bro?" she asks. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," I tell her. "Just thinking, that's all."

She smiles impishly. "About what?"

"Ah... about dinner," I improvise. "I know it's still early, but we didn't have lunch."

Bracing herself on the hand that's marking her place, she pushes herself up off the futon. On small, bare feet, she pads over and kneels down in front of me. Reaching out and covering my left hand with her right, she leans forward and kisses me gently.

She draws back and looks at me serenely, her violet eyes searching mine. "I don't believe a word of it," she says, at last. "What's so funny about dinner?"

"You've obviously never seen me trying to cook, then."

She laughs. "You're not that bad, Bro. I've seen worse, anyway." With her slender fingers, she tears a precise strip out of the newspaper and folds it in half before tucking it into her book. "Let's go shopping, then," she says. "We can have a light lunch, and I'll make curry rice for dinner. Just need to buy a few ingredients, that's all."

I take her hand and lace my fingers with hers. She looks at me, curiously, as I turn our hands over, examining them. They're one. For a moment, I can't tell which fingers are hers and which are mine. Her smooth pale skin, or my warm tan. Tangled. Entwined.

"One," I murmur, without really realising what I'm saying.

Her fingers squeeze mine, gently. I look up at her, released from my momentary trance, to find her smiling at me.

"Yes," she says, softly. "I know."

* * *

There aren't many people on the street as we make our way through the stifling heat to the local market. Kana's radiant – literally – in a white summer blouse and pale blue shorts. It almost hurts my eyes to look at her. The surface of the road shimmers like a distant mirage, swimming in heat haze.

I keep my eyes down on the pavement as much as possible. Thankfully, it's not a long way to the store; after about ten minutes of staggering down the scorching sidewalk, the air-conditioned interior of the market is a welcome relief. I stand just inside the automatic doors as they trundle shut behind us, blinking hard in an effort to get the spots out of my vision.

Kana has grabbed a shopping basket and is already heading deeper. I stumble after her, feeling the cool air wafting against my shirt and seeping into my sleeves. We should live here, Kana. Your apartment doesn't even have a _fan_!

"Nice in here, isn't it?" Kana remarks as I catch up to her in the produce section. She picks up a pre-packaged tray of potatoes and eyes them carefully before slipping them into her basket.

"It's certainly better than out there," I agree. "I can't understand why you don't have an air conditioner for your apartment."

"Well, the Kobayashis took it with them when they left the store," Kana says, drifting along to the next aisle, "and I didn't see the need to buy a new one. The summers have been quite mild lately, anyway."

"And you couldn't afford one?" I prompt her.

She turns to me and flashes me a smile. "And I couldn't afford one. Red peppers... red peppers..." She wanders down the aisle, looking this way and that. Again, I hasten after her, feeling a bit like an overeager lap dog. While she's not looking, I reach out and grab her free hand.

She comes to a halt and blushes furiously. "Bro...!" she squeaks, under her breath. "Not here!"

I don't let go. I just step closer, still holding her hand. Her shoulders seem to arch up a little as her eyes dart around the store nervously.

"Bro..." she protests, weakly.

"No," I remind her. "Not 'Bro' – Taka. Remember?" I poke her gently in the chest. "Kana Todo. Not my _imouto-chan_. Kana. My _love_."

"But... but here?" she mutters, helplessly. "There are... there are _people_ here, Taka!"

"There's people everywhere," I say, nonchalantly. "If we let that stop us, then we're back where we started, aren't we?"

"Um, I... I suppose so..." She doesn't sound particularly convinced. It's more as if she's agreeing just to avoid an argument. But she shuffles closer to me nevertheless. The sweet fragrance of her shampoo wafts past me as she goes up on her toes to kiss my cheek. She sinks back down, looking a little exhilarated. "That was... that was kind of—"

"Kana?"

The shopping basket falls from Kana's elbow and tumbles to the floor. The tray of potatoes skids across the tiles, coming to rest under a nearby fruit display. Kana's trembling, eyes wide. Someone's seen us. Someone who knows her name.

Slowly, we both turn around.

For a moment, I don't recognise her. It's difficult. Even if you used to see someone nearly every day for eight or nine years, if you take them out of context and put different clothes on them – like a sky blue t-shirt and pink shorts – they can be almost completely—

"Miki!" Kana gasps, a strange mix of relief, apprehension and sheer joy in her voice.

It _is_. Miki Kondo, Kana's nurse for so long. She looks smaller without her nurse's cap on. I _know_ it's absurd, but it's also true.

"I thought it was you!" Miki smiles as she walks towards us. Kana surprises her by hurrying forward and hugging her tightly. There's a somewhat bittersweet smile on Miki's face as she closes her eyes and returns Kana's embrace.

"What are you doing here?" Kana asks, as the two of them draw apart, looking each other up and down for any changes that might have taken place over the past few years.

"I was just out shopping, and thought I'd buy my groceries here before I went home," Miki says. Her eyes move to me, flickering up and down, taking me in. "It's great to see you again, Taka," she says. "You're looking well."

"You too," I say. And she does – she hardly seems to have aged at all. What's her secret? "How are things at the hospital?"

"Oh, the same as ever," she says, dismissively. "It's not the same since Kana left, of course, but I don't think any of us _really_ misses the old days so much that we'd want them back!"

"No, of course not!" Kana agrees.

"So, what are you doing with yourself these days, Kana?" Miki asks. "The last I heard, you were working at a bookshop somewhere around here."

"I'm still there," Kana says, "though the owners retired about a year ago. I've been running it for them ever since."

"My, my," Miki says, admiringly. "My little Kana's all grown up now."

Kana blushes. "Not... not at all! You... you should come by the store one day, if you're in the area. I'd love to see you."

"Maybe some day," Miki says, eyeing me again. "So what are the two of you doing here this Sunday afternoon?"

"Just, um... shopping for dinner," Kana says, too quickly. "Taka dropped by and we thought we'd—"

"So it's 'Taka' now, is it?" Miki asks, slyly. Kana looks horrified. "Oh, don't mind me, Kana. After all, you couldn't stay Taka's little sister forever."

"No..." Kana says, taken aback. "No, of course not. Bro and I... th–that is, Taka and I were going to..."

"I'm happy for you," Miki says, quietly.

Kana blinks. "Wh... what do you... There's nothing to be 'happy' ab—"

"Kana-chan, I was your nurse for a very long time. I felt like a surrogate mother to you. But when I first started being your nurse, I felt so helpless. It was so hard to make you smile. You never laughed, and you hardly cried." And now she looks up at me, her brown eyes warm and soft. "Until the day Taka came to the hospital. I saw you cry then. I heard your voice raised high with joy. And I fell in love with your smile."

"I..." Kana doesn't know what to say. Miki just continues as if Kana hadn't said anything.

"And, from then on, I saw you _living_, Kana. 'Do you think Bro will come today?' you'd ask me. 'I have to finish reading this book that he brought me.' 'The room has to be tidy for when Bro comes to visit.' 'Why didn't he come today, Miki? Do you... do you think he doesn't like me anymore?'

"Oh, I knew from the very start, Kana," she says, gently, as Kana looks up at her with awestruck eyes. "And I could tell how much he loved you in return. Times when even your _parents_ wouldn't have time to come visit you, but Taka would always be there for visiting hours, and he'd stay right until the last minute. Even when he should have been at university." She shakes her head, slowly.

"I... I didn't mean to... to fall in love with him..." Kana mumbles, hesitantly.

"I know," Miki says. "You just _did_. I had my concerns. But I could see how your love for each other was making you strong, Kana. I wouldn't be much of a nurse if I only treated your body, and not your heart as well. Would I?"

Kana gives up trying to say anything. She just looks up at Miki, biting her lip.

"And now...?" she asks, finally, after long moments of silence. "What would you say if... if I told you that, even _now_..."

"I already have," Miki says. "I'm happy for you."

Tears start to well in Kana's eyes, and she blinks hard. She takes a half-step forward, almost staggering, then throws herself into Miki's arms. While Kana sobs bitterly against Miki's shoulder, Miki gently holds her, stroking her hair. Over Kana's shoulder, she looks at me again, her eyes meeting mine.

_Take care of her,_ she mouths.

I nod, gravely. _I will._

_

* * *

_

Kana's quiet all the way back to the bookstore. Her eyes are reddened and slightly puffy from crying. For my part, I just carry the grocery bags and don't presume to interfere with Kana's thinking time. Because she's not brooding; that's never been Kana's approach to life. She's working things out. I can almost hear the thoughts inside her head.

_Miki knows now. Miki knows... and she doesn't _care_. She knew even before _I_ did. She knew even before Taka and I knew we're not actually brother and sister. And yet, she didn't say anything. It was incest, as far as she knew, and she didn't care as long as it made me _happy

She walks with her eyes cast down, nearly closed. Her shoulders are hunched forward and her arms hang loosely at her sides. The sun is behind us, having passed its zenith a few hours ago, and is now beginning its slow arc towards the horizon. Kana's brow is furrowed, one corner of her mouth pursed in concentration.

I walk beside her, watching her. Loving her.

We finally make it back to the store. Kana fumbles in her purse and pulls out the keys. She unlocks the door and pushes it open, holding it ajar so I can enter.

"Thanks," I say, as she closes the door again and locks it behind us.

"Could you put the bags down?" she whispers. It's the first thing she's said since we left the store. Curious, I do as she asks. She's standing behind me, framed by the bright sunlight streaming in through the glass of the front door. It silhouettes her body with a hazy radiance, emphasising the slender lines of her limbs and the delicacy of her figure.

She steps forward, an angel of light in the dimness of the store. She steps forward, bringing her hands up to my face, and she kisses me hard. She presses herself up against me so forcefully that I can't handle her weight, and we stumble back awkwardly until my back runs up against a nearby bookshelf.

"I love you, Taka," she says, abandoning the kiss for a moment.

"I love you too, Kana." I wrap my arms around her and pull her close, bending down to kiss her again. Her hands slide around me and stray across my back. Her kisses are hungry and demanding, her tongue working its way insistently into my mouth. She's pressed up hard against me, her legs rubbing up against mine.

Abandoning my back, she tugs my shirt out of my jeans and slips her hands underneath it, caressing my bare skin. She pauses momentarily, her fingers resting on my chest, and we look at each other, breathing hard. Her eyes are deep purple in the shadows.

"You've become a... lot more assertive, Kana," I remark. I bring my hands up and start unfastening the tiny buttons of her blouse. The cloth parts, exposing her white neck and the soft cups of her bra.

"Life is meant to be lived," she says, withdrawing her hands from my shirt and working at its buttons. "Miki taught me that. While we're alive, while we're here, we do what we can. The two of us, here, _living_ together. Loving together." She smiles up at me, almost shyly, as I slide her blouse down off her shoulders. It floats gently to the floor. "Let's live now, Bro," she says, happily. "Let's see how good it can be."


	5. Haunted

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**5. Haunted  
**

by Darkling

* * *

"Thank you for your business! Please come again!"

It's Thursday afternoon in the Kobayashi bookstore, and Kana's glowing as she stands behind the counter, handing over her latest customer's purchase. She's especially proud because it's a second-hand book that the woman – Tanaka-san, if I heard correctly – hadn't been able to find anywhere else. It's not so much that Kana's store has a _huge_ range of second-hand books; rather, it's that the selection in stock reflects Kana's taste and discretion more than anything else.

Tanaka-san, a pleasant middle-aged woman, smiles at Kana before turning to leave the store. Kana shoots a triumphant glance at me where I'm standing, supposedly sorting out the small selection of travel guides. I smile back, but Kana's already busy answering another customer's question, so I turn back to my work.

It's the university's summer break right now, so I'm filling time by helping out at the store. I don't know whether it's the fact that it's a relatively mild day today, or if Thursdays are always like this, but it's been fairly busy in here for the past couple of hours. I suppose it helps that the store's located in a popular shopping district.

Kana certainly isn't complaining.

"Over there, the second shelf on the right," she's saying, pointing the section out. "If we don't have what you're looking for, please come back and I'll see if I can order it in for you."

"Thanks." The young man wanders over in my direction, distractedly muttering something to himself. Kana finally gets a chance to take a breath, and she smiles across at me, resting her hands on the cash register.

A shadow blocks the afternoon sunlight momentarily as a woman enters the store, a young girl clutching her hand. Presumably they're mother and daughter; there's certainly something of the woman's face in the girl's childish features. The woman drags the child towards Kana at the counter.

"Excuse me, miss," she says, sounding harried. "Do you stock picture books in your store?"

"Oh." Kana ducks her head, embarrassed. "I'm afraid not. There's a Sanseido outlet just a little way down the str—"

"Yes, yes, I've been there," the woman says. "They were sold out."

"I'm sorry," Kana says, politely. "In that case, why don't you try—"

"_Okaasan_!" the girl wails, tugging at her mother's sleeve. "I'm _hungry_!"

"In a minute, Asuka-chan," the woman says. "Thank you for your time, miss." She stoops and picks the girl up, holding her slung awkwardly with one arm as she fishes in her purse. Asuka regards Kana with intense curiosity. Taken aback, Kana just smiles vaguely in return.

"You're strange," Asuka says, after a moment. "_Okaasan_, look how small she is! She looks funny!"

Kana rocks back as if the words were physical blows. Asuka's mother hasn't noticed – she's still digging in her purse for something or other. But the effect on Kana is devastating.

When she was growing up, Kana was always self-conscious about her appearance. If she went too long without dialysis, her face would start to swell up, especially around the eyes. Ugly yellow discolorations would mar her complexion. At times like those, she'd do her best not to let anyone see her. She'd cover her head with the bed sheet when I visited her, or hide in her room if she were at home.

I didn't let Kana's symptoms bother me, because I didn't want them to bother _her_. I'd tease her gently and make her realise that she was still Kana – still my little sister, funny-faced or not. Over the years, she slowly got better about letting me see her when she was like that, though it was a rather different story with other people.

But the one thing Kana couldn't hide beneath a bed sheet – the one thing she couldn't cover with makeup or lock away in the privacy of her room – was her lack of growth. Kidneys are important that way.

I remember Kana's doctor saying something to our parents once, something about her kidneys and Vitamin D and 'missed growth potential'. The longer Kana languished in hospital, even _with_ the dialysis machines and the regular blood tests and the controlled diet, the more of her potential she wasted.

She's not tall, even now. She's twenty years old and she looks about fifteen. Her shoulders are narrow, and her arms and legs are slender. She's not strong, outside. _Inside_, she's strong – I know. She's stronger than I am.

As long as people don't point at her and call her strange.

I want to scream at them both, the mother _and_ her child. _Get out! Get out of this store! You... you _hurt_ my sister!_

I don't say anything. I just stare at Kana helplessly as she shrinks back against the bookcase behind her, hands feebly bracing herself against the books arranged on the shelves there. She looks trapped. She looks... shattered.

"What was that, Asuka-chan?" the woman asks, absently. "Ah, here they are." She pulls a set of car keys from her purse. "Let's go now, dear."

"I'm hungry," Asuka reminds her mother, plaintively. Her mother just hoists her higher against her shoulder and turns to leave. Asuka's face peeks over her mother's shoulder at me as she's carried out of the store. Her mother's face, in miniature. Her short limbs a smaller, more compact version of an adult's frame. She has years to grow.

She has all the luck in the world.

Kana. I turn away from the door. It's only a handful of steps across the store to the counter; I'm there in three seconds.

She doesn't look at me. Slumped backwards against the shelf, she stares dully at the floor. Her arms are still braced weakly behind her. Her expression is lifeless.

"Kana." I take her hands, rubbing her fingers gently. They're limp and non-responsive. Letting one hand go, I reach up to lift her chin. Her head raises without resistance, but her eyes won't meet mine. She won't look at me. My... My Kana won't—

I feel hot tears welling in my eyes. A surge of tightness starts forming a knot in my chest. Kana. Isn't there anything I can do for you? Am I really that useless?

"Um, excuse me?" A hesitant voice intrudes into the silence between us. There's a customer waiting there, with a couple of books on the counter in front of him.

Kana takes a deep breath, struggling to collect herself. "Of... of course," she says, with an effort. "Sorry to make you wait."

I give her a concerned glance as she teeters to her feet, but she's studiously ignoring me, it seems. She tugs at her blouse as if readying herself for battle.

"I'll... I'll be fine, Bro," she mumbles, under her breath. "Just... just don't worry about me for now. Okay?"

"If you say so," I agree, dubiously. Kana summons a smile from somewhere as she brushes past me to attend to the customer. It's not much of a smile, though. I've seen better.

I've seen much better.

* * *

We don't get a chance to talk about it for the rest of the afternoon. Shortly after the incident, students from the local cram school start wandering in, most of them gravitating towards the manga section at the back, while others drift around the second-hand shelves, hoping for something to catch their eye. Kana has contacts with a lot of other book buyers, so she usually knows where to look to keep her used book section stocked.

Kana starts seeming more like her usual self as the afternoon wears on, smiling and chatting with the customers, many of whom are regulars. She fills out some order forms, answers a few questions, talks about manga at length with one particularly good-looking student, and generally acts as an efficient and helpful store manager should.

But when she closes the shop up early that night, as the shadows lengthen on the street outside, she slumps forward with a sigh against the door, letting her head hang forward. And I know that what I've been thinking all afternoon is true. She's still hurting.

"Bro," she says, quietly, as I come up behind her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and holding her tight. "I don't think I'm up to cooking tonight. Could you... could you go get us something, please?"

"Sure." I bend my head forward, rubbing my temple against hers. "What do you want?"

She sighs again. "I don't know. Anything. Here." She holds her hand up, and I take the keys from her loose grip. "I'll be upstairs. I'll be..." She trails off, as if it's not worth finishing the thought. She loosens my hold on her and stumbles past me, heading for the staircase. I turn and watch her go. My heart is as heavy as her lead-footed tread.

* * *

It's dark when I get back, but the apartment lights aren't on. Cautiously, I make my way up the stairs in the gloom, able to see the vague outline of each step, but not much else. I wonder what Kana's doing. The TV isn't on, and she certainly can't be reading. I wonder...

She's curled up against the far wall, legs pulled up to her chest, sobbing weakly. She looks small and alone tucked away there. She needs me. Why did she send me away?

"Kana." I hastily wedge my shoes off and step onto the tatami, letting the bag of food fall to the floor. I crouch at her side, trying to get a look at her face in the semi-darkness.

"Am I...?" she whispers, brokenly, so softly that I can barely hear her.

"Are you what?" I ask, leaning closer.

She sniffs. "Am I really... strange, Bro? Am I..." Her shoulders heave, and she sobs harder. "Am I a freak?"

"No," I say, gently. I start to pull her arms away from her knees, but she resists. When I let go of her right arm to tug at the left, her right arm goes straight back where it was. She locks her legs in place. She's rigid and unyielding.

She's hiding herself away.

"Kana, no," I say, more urgently. I dig my hands under her chin, forcing her to raise her head. Forcing her to look at me. "She didn't mean anything by it." I do my best to sound reassuring, but it's not penetrating Kana's shell. She's shrinking into herself, locking herself away from the world again. After she's worked so hard to be able to walk in the sun, to hold her head up high...

I won't let it happen. I _won't_!

I kiss her hard, pushing her down to the floor. Her hands come up to bat at me, weakly.

"Bro..." It's not a voice of protest. From her weak frightened tone, I can tell what she needs. I hear her scared heart crying out to me for comfort. For reassurance.

Kana's heart. Unbuttoning her blouse, I place my lips against the soft skin of her breast, feeling her heart throbbing. It's racing. I unhook her bra and kiss her nipple lightly, and it's as if a shock runs straight through her body. Her hips arch against me. She moans quietly. There are tears in her eyes.

"I love you, Kana," I whisper. "I love you and I want you. Here. Now. Is it... is it okay?"

She looks up at me, her eyes filled with wordless emotion. So full she can't even speak. She just nods, mutely, and raises her arms to embrace me, lacing her hands behind my neck. Pulling me down to kiss her. It's gentle and beautiful. _She_ is beautiful. I tell her so, and she just shakes her head, closing her eyes so the tears trail silently down her cheeks.

Tenderly, I kiss them.

"You are," I tell her again. "You're the most beautiful person in the world to me, Kana. Inside _and_ out."

"No..." She denies it in a croaking voice, swallowing her tears unwillingly. She trembles as I unfasten and open her skirt, revealing her slim thighs and pale blue panties. "Taka, please... don't say things like that. Don't say things—" She chokes, letting her arms fall limply at her sides. "Don't say things that aren't true."

"I love you," I murmur, as I tug her skirt out from under her. She lies underneath me, shaking her head and not looking at me. All she's wearing now are her panties and the bra that covers her right breast. I pull my shirt over my head and toss it aside.

"What do you _see_?" she whimpers, as I lower myself over her, our bare skin touching. "_Look_ at me, Taka... What am I? What's there to see?"

"I see someone beautiful," I say. She doesn't protest as I pull the bra's straps down off her shoulders and cast it away. Naked and vulnerable, and yet, at the same time, utterly _trusting_. We're safe with each other.

I move up beside her and kiss her wet salty lips, gathering her close against me. Hesitantly, her arms steal around me. Her breasts press up against my chest. I cradle her head against my shoulder.

My Kana. I love her so much it hurts. Why can't she see how beautiful she is?

She's not shaking as much now. The shared warmth of our bodies is comfortingly intimate. Her fingers trace loose, aimless patterns on my back. I bend down and kiss her hair.

"Can you hold me like this forever?" she asks, in a small voice.

"Whenever I can. And for as long as I can."

Her arms quiver. "I always loved you, Bro. I always admired how strong and healthy you were. I was... I was nothing like you. I couldn't even climb up a flight of stairs without getting winded. But when you held my hand, when you'd come into my room and tell me about your day – about the world outside; about the sports you played and the people you'd met – _I_ felt stronger. As if... as if you were passing some of that sunlight and fresh air into me, just through your touch. As if you were willingly giving part of your strength to me, to help me live."

Kana's words are truer than she knows.

She wriggles higher until our noses are almost touching, then she impulsively closes the gap and presses her lips against mine. She kisses me as if she's found something she's always longed for and never wants to let go.

My hands are behind her, resting on the blue cotton of her panties, gently stroking the fabric. Kana draws back, her violet eyes clear now, and smiles wanly.

"Take them off," she says. "I want you to love me now. I want to share myself with you. I... Maybe I can give something back..."

I hook my fingers into the waistband of her panties and tug them down. She twists her body slightly, reaching down to guide them off her legs. I unfasten my jeans and wriggle them off, followed by my underwear.

"I love you, Kana," I tell her again, as we stretch out next to each other, touching from head to toe. "And, as much strength as you think you've drawn from me, I've probably taken twice as much from you. Your courage, your will..."

"We share," she whispers. "The good times and the bad, for both of us. As long as we're together, they balance out."

"Yes." I trail my hands up the side of her body, tracing the slender musculature of her thighs, the flare of her hips, the slight inward curve of her narrow waist. Her breathing quickens. Harshens. Desire swims deep in her eyes as we look at each other. We start finding each other. Her tears well up again as we touch, as her hands explore my body, as our tongues meet and our souls tangle with each other.

I touch her naked skin. I walk my fingers up her belly and lay my palm flat against the side of her stomach. She brings her hands down to cover mine.

"Yes, Bro," she murmurs, through the tears. "You're always a part of me. You've always given me the strength to live. The courage to keep fighting."

Her face blurs in my vision. I lean forward and kiss her desperately. Kana, you're real. You're alive. We can't waste a minute. Every day you're with me is a blessing.

She moans softly as our bodies connect. We move together for what seems like hours, but it's actually all too short a time. Far too transitory. She catches her breath in short gasps as our rhythm picks up, and we strain towards a single moment of unity.

"Taka..." she groans, her arms tightening around my neck. "Taka."

* * *

And afterwards, as we lie together on the floor amidst our scattered clothing, she snuggles close to me and smiles.

"Stronger," she murmurs, sleepily. "Every day I'm with you, I get stronger."

Me too, Kana. I look down at her fondly; at my little sister, nestled comfortably at my side.

Me too.

* * *

**Notes:**

Sanseido: a major Japanese bookstore chain

_okaasan_: mother


	6. Imouto and Oniisan

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

_--- _

**6. Imouto and Oniisan  
**

by Darkling

* * *

KANA. 

I stand at her door, tracing the letters with my finger. This plaque has been on the door for as long as I can remember, marking a forbidden area where boys aren't supposed to tread. Kana's room was sacrosanct for a very long time, even after that trip to the forest had come and gone, and our parents weren't worried that I'd try to bully her anymore.

Kana's room was her private domain, a safe place she'd retreat to when she was feeling sad or self-conscious. In here, with her bookshelf and her desk and her nightlight, she could lose herself in the pages of some book or another, reading herself away to a better place.

It wasn't that I didn't feel welcome on the rare occasions I was in there with her (and, more often than not, Kana's room would sit empty for months at a time). It's just that it's _her_ space. Kana's space. I sometimes think her fragrance still lingers here; even now, years after she last lived here.

Kana's room is also the place where we first—

I pause, cutting myself off mid-thought. I smile to myself, reaching out for the door handle, and walk inside.

Kana's room hasn't changed. The bed is in the corner, neatly made. Her desk stands against the opposite wall, its surface clean and dust-free. The window's opened just a bit, allowing fresh air to circulate inside. It still doesn't feel like anyone lives here, but... but at least it doesn't feel _abandoned_.

In the months after Kana left, I'd dust in here every day. I'd run my finger over the spines of the books she left behind on her shelf. I'd change the sheets on her bed. I'd... I'd sit in one corner of the room, where I could see everything, and let a ghostly image of Kana inhabit the room. She'd sit at her desk, studying. She'd lie on the bed reading a book. She'd stand there in the middle of the room and reach out to me, smiling.

Of course, if I tried to hold her, if I let myself believe _too_ much in the fantasy I'd created, her image would just evaporate into thin air. And so I wouldn't touch my memory of Kana. I'd just crouch there in the corner, crying, for hours at a time.

It was so hard to come to grips with the fact that she was gone. That she no longer _lived_ here. It had started to feel almost normal with her living at home all the time, eating meals and laughing with the rest of us, being there to greet me with a "Welcome back!" when I'd walk through the front door. The nights we'd lie together, in her bed or mine, just holding each other, or talking into the early hours of the morning. And the nights we spent loving each other behind closed doors.

But she'd left, and I knew I couldn't follow her. It would have... it would have been wrong, no matter how much I _wanted_ to. I walked around with a profound emptiness inside my chest – an emptiness that had a strange weight, all of its own. It throbbed inside of me; it gnawed at me each time I looked at a photo of Kana, or caught another hint of her fragrance as I walked past her room, or looked across the dinner table at her empty seat.

Absences. Departures. Holes in my life. Holes that couldn't be filled.

My grades started to suffer. I couldn't concentrate; I couldn't think. Nights in my room – in my bed, alone, without Kana there in the next room, without her soft "good night, Bro" – were unbearable. The hours would slowly tick past, and I'd lie there sleepless until the approaching dawn touched the curtains, filling my room with its soft light.

I worked past it, eventually. We'd see each other every now and then, which would usually just strengthen my resolve. Kana seemed to be doing her best to move on. She was even _dating_, it seemed. Words can't describe how much my heart plummeted in my chest the first time I heard her talk about her boyfriend. Hiromi-kun. 'Hiromi-kun' this and 'Hiromi-kun' that.

She could see how much it hurt me. I knew that much. And it hurt her to do it, I could tell. But she kept at it. Maybe she _wanted_ to hurt me. Maybe she hoped it would help me to let her go.

I never did. I relaxed my hold on her, sure. But no-one ever took Kana's place in my heart. _No-one_.

But even when I was able to breathe again, when I could walk to the train station without feeling as if my feet were weighed down with bricks, I didn't stop maintaining Kana's room. Maybe I was hoping she'd come back, one day. Maybe I just wanted a shrine. Maybe it didn't make any sense at all. Mom and Dad certainly didn't think it did.

A few weeks after Kana had left, they'd tentatively suggested putting Kana's things into storage and closing the room down – covering the furniture with drop sheets, boxing the books she hadn't taken with her, mothballing her old clothes. I think my response surprised them.

"It's not as if she's _dead_!" I yelled at them. "It's not as if she's gone for good! She'll always be a part of this family! She'll... she'll always be a part of _me_!"

Always, Kana. You still are. You always have been.

"Taka?"

I turn around to find Mom standing in the doorway, one hand braced against the door frame. She doesn't look surprised to see me in here.

"Hi, Mom," I say. "What's up? Why're you home so early?"

"I forgot some documents, so I had to come back to get them," she says. "Your father and I have a meeting later this afternoon that's probably going to last into the night. Do you think you could get dinner for yourself?"

"I was... I was thinking of going to Kana's place," I tell her, hesitantly. Over the past few weeks, ever since that afternoon at the bookstore, I've been spending a lot more time with Kana than Mom and Dad are used to. I haven't been home for meals an awful lot – but then, neither are they, half the time. I've also spent quite a few nights at Kana's. I've told Mom and Dad that I spent them at a university friend's place, but I don't think they believe me.

You'd think that our parents would be overjoyed to see their two estranged children spending time with each other again. But instead, all I see in Mom's eyes is anxiety and suspicion.

"Again?" is all she says.

"Yes, again," I respond. Why do I feel defensive, all of a sudden? Why does it suddenly seem like she's deliberately blocking the door? "We like spending time together. It's been ages since we've had time to catch up, and the summer break's a great time to do it in."

"What about your other university friends?" Mom asks, pointedly. "Why don't you spend more time with them? What about that girl – Hayashi-san?"

"Mom, we broke up _ages_ ago." My tone is patient, but I'm getting more and more bothered by this. What business is it of Mom's how much I see Kana? It's not as if Mom's a shining example when it comes to building bridges with the Todo family's adopted daughter. _Someone_ has to reach out...

I'm not thinking clearly, but I get irrational when it comes to defending Kana. Love isn't a logical thing.

"Then you should find someone else." Mom refuses to let it go. "Taka, you'll be graduating early next year, and then you'll find a job. You won't have _time_ to find someone if you don't start looking n—"

"It's none of your _business_!" I explode, startling even myself. Her eyes go wide, and she takes an involuntary half-step back. Her hand is still on the door jamb, though. The threshold is still closed. "Mom, I can take care of myself. I'm a grown man now. When I find the right person, I'll—"

"She's _not_ the right person," Mom says, under her breath.

"What?"

She looks surprised at my reaction. But how can she have expected me not to hear what she said? For a moment, her brown eyes dart nervously around Kana's room, looking anywhere but at me. Then, reluctantly, she faces me. "Kana's not the right person, Taka."

"I... I don't understand what you mean," I lie. "Not the right person? Not the right person for what?"

"Your father and I..." She moves forward a step again, entering the room. Her hands are clasped tight in front of her. I back away, involuntarily. "We think you're spending too much time with her. Kana made her decision. It was one we've chosen to respect. She decided that she didn't want us in her life—"

"That's not it at all!" I'm furious at her. Is that really what she thinks? "How can you still not understand? She left because of... because of..." I pause, horrified at what I was about to say. _She left because of me. It was my fault._

Is that really the truth? Is that what really happened?

"Yes?" Mom asks, expectantly. "She left because of...?"

I sigh. "Because of me, Mom. Because I wanted to protect her too much. Because she wanted to grow outside of my shadow. Because sometimes the only way to love something is to let it go."

"Then you made the right decision as well, Taka," she says, sounding relieved. "What your father and I don't understand is why you're suddenly going back to the way you were before..."

"There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" I ask. "We've both grown up a bit. We're not going to fall back into that trap again, not this time – not now that she's stronger. She can look after herself."

"That's exactly right!" Mom's eyes light up as she seizes on my point. "She _can_ look after herself. Your father and I... well, we just don't want you getting... _too_ close to her again. Not like it was before – not with you thinking more of her than yourself. You don't need her holding you back anymore, Taka. You don't need her clinging to you. You do realise, don't you, that—"

"I love her." I don't know why I'm saying this to her. All I know is that I can't stand to hear her talking about Kana like she's some kind of hindrance to me, some kind of parasite. I have to say how I feel.

"We all love her, Taka," Mom says, patiently. "That doesn't mean—"

"No, you're not hearing me," I snap. "I _love_ her."

Mom just stares at me, without comprehension. How slow _is_ she?

"As a woman," I say, just to make it perfectly clear. "I love her as a woman."

Her eyes go wide. "Taka..." she breathes, slowly. "Taka, she's your _sister_!"

"No, she's not. That's just what you _told_ me, my entire life. But she isn't. Our hearts are the same; our blood runs together. But we're not related. She's not my _imouto_. She's Kana. Kana, the woman I love!"

Mom's hands fly up to cover her mouth. The expression in her eyes is one of sheer horror. Her voice is muffled as she struggles to find words. "Don't..." she chokes, barely coherently. "Taka, don't... _Please_ don't say that..."

"Why not? It's true! I love Kana!" I raise my voice and it rings through the room, resonating back to me as if the house itself, the house where I grew up, is speaking the truth of my words back to me. "My life is hers! She's a _part_ of me, and I'm a part of her. _Imouto_ and _oniisan_. Taka and Kana! Taka and _Kana_!"

"Stop," she begs, her nails pressing hard against her cheeks. "Please stop, Taka... You don't know what you're saying..."

"_I... am... Kana's!_" I roar the words at her. "I belong to her. I've _always_ belonged to her! You lied to us! You and Dad both. You let us believe we were blood! Do you know how much we suffered because of that? Because of you, Kana and I both believed that what we felt was _wrong_! But it's not!" I pause, suddenly, a feeling of relief washing through me. I've said it. I've _said_ it. "It's not," I repeat, quietly. "I love her, Mom. I love her with all I have."

Tears are flowing down her cheeks, mingling with flecks of blood where her nails have punctured her skin. She stares at me silently, her eyes imploring me to reconsider. When her voice comes, it doesn't sound like my mother. It sounds like someone small and old and frail.

"Don't... Please don't leave us, for her... Bring her back here. We can... we can be a family again. No-one needs to, to know..."

But I don't want to hide anymore.

"Sorry, Mom." She still stands in my way, but she's not an obstacle now. Gently, I put my hand on her shoulder and walk past her. I leave the room without looking back.

"Taka..." She calls my name, pleadingly. But by that time I'm already at the front door. I pull it open, striding out into the bright afternoon light.

I won't step backwards. I won't lie to the world. I love Kana. And I don't care who knows it.

* * *

**Notes:**

_imouto_: 'little sister'

_oniisan_: 'big brother'


	7. Junctures

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**7. Junctures  
**

by Darkling

* * *

There's blood on my hands, and I don't know whose it is.

I'm not even sure where I am. I can see bookshelves, but they're skewed at a crazy angle, reaching down towards the lower right corner of my vision. It looks wrong, somehow. The wooden floorboards seem to be upside down, sloping up towards the sky. There's a faint reflection of daylight in their polished surface. The shop is empty.

Kana's store? Is that where I am? Are these... my hands?

A pair of hands is there in front of me, but they can't be mine. I don't know why I thought they were. The fingers are stretched out, as if they're trying to ward something away. The knuckles are abraded and spattered with drying blood.

They can't be mine, though, because I can't feel them. They don't move when I tell them to. In fact... _nothing_ moves when I tell it to.

Where am I? What's going on?

"I understand. Please hurry." I hear the soft clatter as a phone's returned to its cradle. As my vision dims and blurs, I see a pair of slippered feet walking into the space before me. It's Kana. Her head is also pointing towards the floor. Why is she doing that?

She climbs a couple of the stairs and crouches down next to me. It's hard looking at her like this. She's almost upside down. I want to tell her to stop it, but I can't find the words. My lips won't move.

"I've called an ambulance, Taka," she says, her voice tight and anxious. Something must be wrong. There's blood on her face, smudged and blurred by the tears running down her cheeks. She takes the hands in front of me and clutches them tight. They can't be mine. Why can't I feel them? Why can't I feel... _anything_?

"Hold on, Taka," Kana begs, helplessly. "Please... just hold on."

Darkness washes over me.

* * *

It's dark here, almost too dark to see. All around me, the vague shapes of trees loom in the dimness, stretching far overhead, blocking out what's left of the sun's light. It's thick and warm here below the canopy of the trees. Humid. Rotting.

I'm walking along a well-worn path. It feels like I've been here before, though I couldn't say where or when. I just have the feeling that the trees will clear, somewhere up ahead, and—

I hear the gentle splashing of a waterfall. The path leads me to a clearing by the side of a freshwater pool. Close by, a small cascade empties into the pond, creating ripples in the surface of the water. It's cooler out here, away from the insulating barrier of the trees. The sun is almost down now, and the wind has a sharp bite to it. I wouldn't want to be out here after nightfall, that's for certain.

Among the lichen-covered rocks and the straggly patches of grass that poke up between them, a young girl is lying on the ground. Her blue overalls are smeared with mud; her knees and elbows, in particular, are grass-stained and filthy. Large seeds spill from the loose pockets of her overalls. She has quite a collection of them.

I step forward. Night's almost here. What's a little girl doing out here, all alone?

She doesn't seem to hear my approach. She's just lying there, her hands clenched over her stomach, her arms and legs curled up tightly. She's already shivering in the cool night air.

"Hey," I say, hesitantly, crouching down beside her. "Little girl, wake up. Wake—"

I pause, shocked. It's _Kana_. Kana, as she was more than ten years ago. But me, I'm—

I'm not there. I can't see myself. I reach out my hand – I _know_ I'm reaching out my hand; I can feel the gentle breeze on my skin – and try to touch Kana's shoulder, but my hand just passes right through her as if she doesn't exist. Or as if _I_ don't exist.

"Kana!" I yell, hoping to wake her. "Kana, get up! You can't sleep here! You'll... With your health the way it is, you'll _catch_ something. You... you might d— _Kana_!"

"Mommy..." she mumbles, almost deliriously. "Mommy, help me... I'm so cold..." Her hands tighten around her stomach, and she sobs quietly. "So hungry..."

Kana, no. Where... where _am_ I? Where's your brother, Kana? Where's Taka?

I'm right here, I realise. Here, invisible and useless. I don't exist to her. This Kana has no brother. This Kana may die out here.

_No!_

I fall to my knees, clawing at her frantically. My hands are no more tangible to her than the touch of the night wind. She doesn't even flinch. She just lies there, weak and hungry. Lost, where she might never be found.

"Kana! Kana, wait. I—" But the wind picks up, plucking at the fabric of Kana's overalls, making her shudder with the cold. The wind picks up and blows through me. It sweeps me away.

* * *

"_Bro. Bro, can you hear me? Please... I need you. Come back to me..._"

* * *

It's parent–teacher conference day, and the parents are gathered in Kana's third year classroom. Well, _most_ of the parents.

"They couldn't come," one of the parents says to someone else, sounding scandalised. "The parents of that little girl there, Kana... Kana something-or-other."

"Couldn't come, or couldn't be _bothered_ to come?" the other parent asks, snidely.

"It must be hard, having a daughter who's sickly like she is. Who can't come to school that often..."

"Well, then they should take better care of her! I hear they're well-off enough. Why don't they send her to a special school, rather than lumping her with _our_ children? She's barely here enough to qualify as a member of the class, I hear..."

"Shh!"

Kana's sitting miserably in the middle of the classroom. The other students seem to have realised her parents aren't here, and are taking full advantage of the situation. She flinches every now and then as spitwads randomly strike her face and neck. I look at the parents, but they're too busy gossiping among themselves to be much concerned with their children's behaviour. The teacher is up at the front of the classroom, deep in conversation with someone's father.

Kana just pulls her chair in closer to her desk and hunches over her homework. Covering her head would draw attention to herself. And so, her only option is to make herself as small a target as possible. There's no-one to stand up for her. No-one who cares.

The teacher begins the class. The students and parents settle down, all determined to make a good impression. The teacher selects various students to stand up and read out their essays. It's typical third grade stuff: _My daddy is a businessman. He wears a suit to work. He brings me presents when he comes home sometimes. I love my daddy._ And so on. Why do teachers put their poor students through this kind of thing year after year?

"Kana Todo."

"Huh?" Kana looks up, startled.

"I'm talking to you, Kana. Please read your essay."

"M–my essay?" Kana stutters.

"Yes. Please stand up and read it out."

"Um..." Kana shakes a bit, but she pushes back her chair and climbs to her feet. The students whisper amongst themselves, laughing and pointing. The parents get in on the act a bit, as well. Silence falls as Kana starts reading, in a faint, quavering voice.

"I... I live at the hospital. Every day the nurses come to take my blood. I am not very healthy. There is nothing I can do about it. My... my parents bring me books to read, but they do not know what type of books I like. It is very boring at the hospital. I have to stay there or... or I will die. I wish I didn't have to stay there. Sometimes it is very lonely. Sometimes I don't want to go back..." She pauses, her eyes crinkling up as she struggles to hold back tears.

"Kana? Kana, please keep reading."

Kana sniffs hard, her entire face screwed up with her efforts to keep herself from crying. She looks down at the sheet in front of her. "S–sometimes I don't want to go back," she repeats, haltingly. "E–even if it means that I might d–d—" She can't hold it in any longer, and she howls helplessly, tears streaming down her face. The students mutter and jabber to each other. Someone laughs. Kana stands in the middle of the classroom, alone and friendless, crying her heart out.

"So inappropriate," one of the parents mutters.

"Do her parents even _think_ what it's doing to our children to have such a morbid little girl in the same class with them?"

"It's sad..."

"It's pathetic, that's what it is..."

The scene blurs away again, tearing me from Kana.

* * *

"_P_–_please, Bro. I love you. I _need_ you. How can... I can't be strong without you..._"

* * *

"Freak girl!"

"Here, Todo, carry them! And don't you dare drop a single one!"

"I... I understand. I won't drop any of them." Kana's voice is subservient and passive. She staggers under the weight as the three girls stack piles of handouts into her outstretched arms. It's more than a grown adult could expect to carry safely.

The three girls are older than Kana. They're hardly acting like role models, though. They're wearing too much makeup and they carry themselves as if they think they're cooler than they actually are. The sad thing is that each of them would probably be almost nice, if you got them on their own.

But they're not on their own. They have numbers, and they have size. To them, Kana is prey.

"Now, carry them to the teachers' lounge! Move it, bitch!"

"I... I will." Kana shuffles forward tentatively. Her knees are buckling, and she's straining to keep her balance. The pile of handouts teeters precariously, but she manages to compensate for the swaying motion of her awkward gait—

At least, until one of the girls shoves her from behind. Kana goes sprawling to the floor, and the handouts fly from her hands, scattering all over the place.

"Oh, look what you _did_!" scolds the one with pigtails. "Pick them up, Todo!"

Still on her hands and knees, Kana scuttles forward, gathering the pieces of paper with trembling hands. One of the girls kicks her arm out from underneath her, and Kana collapses on her face. She doesn't get back up. She just lies there, her shoulders trembling convulsively. I can hear her whimpering quietly.

"You're no good at this!" says the sharp-eyed one. "You want to know what _I_ think the problem is? It's your stumpy little arms! They're too short! What did you do, freak – have them shrunk on purpose?"

Kana cries bitterly, struggling for breath, but says nothing.

"We're going to help you! We'll help make your arms longer."

They pull her up. They grab her arms and pull at them, hard. Kana screams and struggles, but they don't let go. Tears pour down her cheeks and drip from her chin. Her breathing is erratic and wheezy, and her eyes are wide. Panic-stricken.

Letting her go, they push her down again. They taunt her loudly. They call her a freak. She huddles there, still crying, as they jeer at her.

"Say it, freak! Tell us what you are! Go on!"

"I..." Kana chokes, but it's hopeless. She can't escape. She can't run. "I am," she whispers, hanging her head. "Yes, I'm a— I'm a... freak..."

"We _knew_ it!" they chorus, raucously, circling around her like starving wolves. "What a good little freak girl she is! She even admits it!"

"Maybe we could get you to put on a show for us?" the pigtailed girl suggests, leaning forward to prod Kana with one finger. "What do you say, bitch? The world's stumpiest girl? Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? _Say_ it!"

"Anything you want..." Kana sobs, brokenly, burying her face in her hands. "Anything..."

Kana. Kana, no. Don't let them... Don't _believe_ what they're telling you. _Kana!_

_

* * *

_

"_Bro, you were always there for me. I'm here for you. Do you hear me? I'll always be here for you..._"

* * *

It's bright and warm in the park at this time of day. There are a few children swarming over the jungle gym, and another two having a great time on the seesaw.

The swings are empty, though, and Kana's standing there with her school satchel slung over her shoulder, looking at the left one as if it might bite her. Hesitantly, she steps a bit closer to it, then draws back sharply as it sways slightly in the breeze. When it doesn't do anything else, she moves closer again, reaching out with a finger to poke the seat gently. It rocks back, the chains jingling quietly. The expression on Kana's face is puzzled, but determined.

Holding her skirt down, she turns around and lowers herself onto the seat. She grabs the chains, panicked, as the swing moves beneath her. She nearly loses her balance, but somehow manages to pull herself upright again without falling off. She breathes quickly and shallowly, bracing her feet on the ground. For a moment, it seems as if she's going to give up and get off.

But then she looks at the other children in the park. The sound of their laughter rings through the air. Kana's wistful face looks as if a smile has never even touched it. Her expression firms itself again.

She kicks with her feet. The swing arcs backward. Kana keeps her legs extended, though, and the swing only goes through a couple of back-and-forths before coming to a halt. Kana looks puzzled. She doesn't know about using her legs to create momentum. She's fourteen years old and she doesn't know how to work a swing.

She tries a couple more times, kicking harder, but without any more success than the first time. The quiet, longing expression on her face gives way to bitter resignation. She climbs off the swing. She walks away, dragging her feet.

The wind blows. It carries me with it.

* * *

"_You showed me how to live. You taught me there was something better. Don't leave. Don't leave me._"

* * *

"No. No, you can't mean it..."

"I'm sorry. There's nothing more we can do. A transplant was Kana's only hope, but it's too late now. I'm sorry we couldn't find a compatible donor, but the odds were always going to be... astronomical. All that's left now is... is to make her comfortable. Mrs Todo, if you'd like to say something to her... now would be the best time."

Kana's lying in the hospital bed. She looks terrible. Her eyes are shadowed; her face is pale and drawn. Mom steps into the room and sits on the folding chair beside the bed. She takes Kana's hand. Weakly, Kana smiles. Her eyes are dull with pain.

"Mom..." she whispers. "It's... it's time, isn't it?"

There's nothing that our mother can say. She just clutches Kana's hand tighter, bending over it. Kana's eyes crease as she grimaces.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she says, her voice soft and strained. "Sorry for being... such a burden."

"You weren't, Kana," Mom insists, raising her head. "If anything, your father and I... we neglected you. We, we didn't mean to. We're so sorry, Kana..."

"I wish," Kana murmurs, letting her head sink back. The words are coming with more difficulty now. It's hard for her to draw breath. "Mom? Why do I feel... like I'm... dying alone? Like no-one... ever _loved_ me? Did I just... take up space...?"

"No, Kana. No. That's not true. That's never true."

"It is." Kana's tone isn't bitter, or sad. It's matter-of-fact. And that may be the worst thing about it. "I haven't really... lived. I never... made a difference... to anyone. My life... never..." Her voice trails off.

Kana, don't say that. You _did_ live. Together, with me! You were everything in the world to me. Don't... don't say that your life didn't _mean_ anything!

"Th–thank you, Mom," Kana says. "Thank you for... taking care of me." Her eyes sink closed for a moment, then open again. "Mom? Mom... I'm ready now."

Mom just nods mutely, rubbing her reddened eyes with the back of her hand. She gets up, stiltedly, and walks to the door.

Kana lays her head back, closing her eyes. A single tear courses down her cheek.

"I knew," she whispers, hopelessly. "I... always knew... it would end this way."

I'm here, Kana. I'm _here_!

But she doesn't hear me. She lies there as pale as death, awaiting the end of a life that never meant anything. I want to reach for her, but my hands just sweep right through her body again. I can't touch her. I can't make a difference. I'm not there.

The darkness envelops me. It blots out Kana. It blots out everything.

* * *

"_Bro... Taka... I'm here. I'm here for you. I love you. Please... Please, don't leave me alone._"

Kana's sobs echo quietly through my heart. But I'm not there. I don't know where I am.


	8. Kinaesthesia

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**8. Kinaesthesia  
**

by Darkling

* * *

The haze parts, momentarily, and I start floating to the surface.

Soft white light filters into my eyes, but nothing's in focus. There are lines and shapes in front of me, but they're all blurry. They won't resolve.

Somewhere, muffled-sounding as if she's a long way from me, I can hear Kana's soft voice. But she's not talking to me. It sounds more like she's talking to herself.

"I wish I knew the future," she says. "I wish... I wish I had a mirror that shows the future. I would... I'd look into it with all my heart. I want to know what's going to happen to you. My... I feel like my feelings are flowing out of control. I feel my heart trembling inside my chest. It... it _hurts_ so much when I don't know what's going to happen..."

"Kana," I try to say, but my lips won't move. I try to move my head to look in her direction, useless as my vision is right now, but I can't do that either. There's resistance, and the effort is making my head spin.

"I miss you. I want you to come back to me. Taka? I love you. I know you can't hear me, but I'll keep saying it: I love you. Come back to me. Please..."

I close my eyes again, letting myself drift away to the sound of Kana's voice.

* * *

I might have woken up again in the time between then and now; in fact, I'm almost certain that I have. I can't remember, though. The recollections are so vague.

One good thing about waking up this time is that my vision is a bit clearer. I can see the ceiling tiles. They're white, held in place by a latticework of stainless steel. If I strain my eyes upwards, I can see a wall just over my head. It's also white. Various sockets and switches are built into it. I seem to be lying in a hospital bed. I should know – I've seen them often enough.

My mouth feels fuzzy and soft. My tongue is swollen, sandpapery. I still can't turn my head.

"Ka... na...?" I call her name, and I'm shocked at the sound of my voice. It's cracked and feeble. Barely a whisper. What's wrong with me? I make a more concerted effort to turn my head. Kana's voice was coming from my right; I remember that much. But I can't look in that direction. It's not just that something is preventing me, I realise. It's that—

"Taka." Kana's voice sounds startled, as if she's just woken up. "Oh. Taka! You... Are you awake this time?"

"Kana..." I whisper, thankfully.

Someone takes my right hand. My hand must be wrapped in bandages, because I hardly feel it. But it's comforting nevertheless.

"Taka." She chokes, and her head bobs into view above me. Her violet eyes are creased with concern, but there's a joyful smile on her face. "You _are_ awake. I..." She blinks, hard, and her smile deepens. "Welcome back."

"Where... did I... _go_?"

She hesitates momentarily. "You're in the hospital, Taka. You were injured, but you're going to get better. That's all I'm allowed to tell you. Your doctors..."

"Kana," I rasp, as she begins to blur again. This is taking more out of me than I realised. "The bandages... Could you... unwrap them? I want... to touch your... hand..."

"Bandages?" She looks confused. I try to wriggle my right hand to let her know what I mean, but my fingers hardly move. They must be wrapped tight.

"My hand... Kana. Hold... my hand..."

"Taka." She stares at me, her expression distraught. Her eyes are suddenly shimmering with tears. She lifts her hand up to her face. She's holding someone's hand. She's holding it against her cheek. She's... she's crying.

"Kana..." I don't understand. That's not my hand. There aren't any bandages. Whose hand is she holding? _Why_ is she holding someone else's hand? I clench my fist as tight as I can. "Kana, please... Hold... my hand..."

And the fingers on her cheek twitch. Just slightly. She holds them there against her wet cheek, her eyes drowning in grief. "I am, Taka," she whispers. "I'm holding your hand."

My... I can't feel her. I can't _touch_ her. This is a dream. This has to be a dream. I'm invisible again. Intangible. That _has_ to be it. This... this can't be real—

I'm having trouble breathing. I can hear choking sounds. I don't _feel_ anything...

"Doctor!" Kana screams, dropping the hand from her cheek. "Doctor Omura!" She bolts from my sight. I hear a door slamming. The world dissolves into white again.

* * *

_"Kana!"_

_"No! Leave me alone!" Kana's voice is high and panicked as I burst into the store, looking for her. "I... I've said all I'm going to say, Hiromi-kun. Please accept it!"_

_"I _can't_!" It's a young man's voice, edgy with frustration and anger. "You... you tell me that you're in love with your _brother_ and you expect me to just... to just _accept_ it? I can't! I won't! Kana-chan—"_

_"Hiromi-kun, _please_... I know it's difficult to accept." The store is empty. Kana's voice is muffled and distant; she must be upstairs. Upstairs with Hiromi, her ex-boyfriend... "But you have to understand that it's how I _feel

_"Kana-chan, you have to see sense. I'll... I'll _make_ you see sense, if I have to!"_

_"No. Hiromi-ku—" Kana's words break off into a pained cry as a sharp slapping sound cracks the air._

_"Kana!" I race up the stairs, three at a time._

_ I've never met Hiromi before, but that has to be him. He and Kana are standing against the far wall. His hands are clutching her shoulders, and he's staring into her face, wildly. She's not looking at him. Her face is averted, and her long hair is falling down around her eyes. Her cheek is bright red with the mark of his hand._

_ Rage fills my heart._

_"Let her _go_!" I scream._

_ Hiromi turns to me, blinking in surprise. His expression seems to clear momentarily._

_"Who... who are you?" he asks, confused._

_ I answer him with my fist._

_ He reels backwards as my punch connects with his jaw, sending him crashing against the wall. Kana scurries back, hands pulled tight to her chest._

_"Taka, no!" she gasps. "Don't hurt him!"_

_ Hiromi twists his face around, his expression darkening. His eyes narrow. "Taka. So _you're_ Taka. _You're_ the one!" He throws himself at me, tackling me hard around the midsection. I stumble backwards, and he takes the opportunity to pull back, slamming his fist into my chin. My jaw snaps hard against my skull. I stagger. "Bastard!" Hiromi screams, pummelling me with a relentless barrage of kicks and punches. "You... _disgraced_... Kana-chan!"_

_ My right hand clenches. Suddenly I can't feel the blows. He can say what he likes about me. But nobody talks that way about my Kana. _Nobody

_ I straighten up. I take it to him._

_"Taka, no... Taka, _please_..." Kana pleads with me, but I'm not listening. Blood flies from Hiromi's face as my fist crushes his nose. His lower lip is cut and bleeding. I keep punching his face. I can't stop._

_ Weakly, Hiromi tries to get out of the way. He circles around, his back to the staircase. His steps are uncertain. A few more blows should finish it._

_"Hiromi-kun!" Changing tack, Kana grabs Hiromi's elbow, tugging at it desperately. "Please stop. Please just stop it. Taka doesn't want to fight you..."_

_"Stay back, Kana-chan!" he snarls, and shoves her out of his way. She stumbles over a join in the tatami. She falls against the dining table. Her head glances off the sharp corner, and she tumbles to the floor. I spare a quick glance at her as she moans, softly._

_ She's... bleeding._

"Kana_!" I launch myself at Hiromi with consuming hatred. My left fist connects with his temple. He staggers backwards, and trips over. I... I can't pull myself back in time. My foot snags on his outstretched ankle. I... I'm flying into the stairwell. I'm falling forever. My body twists in mid-air._

_ Impact. My shoulders take the brunt of it. My head snaps sideways. My head... snaps..._

* * *

"...central cord syndrome," Kana says gently, looking down at me. She's holding my hand again. This time I'm even able to _accept_ that it's my hand, on some level. It won't move, and I can barely feel it, but Kana holds it to her chest like it's something precious. "Your spinal cord has been damaged, in the neck area. The damage makes it difficult for signals to pass from your brain to your body, and the other way around. It _will_ get better. The doctors tell me that there's even a good chance you'll make a full recovery."

"What's a... 'good chance'?" I ask, with an effort.

She won't look at me. She strokes the unresponsive fingers of my hand, cradling them to her breast. "The damage was relatively minor, Taka. As soon as the paramedics got you here, the doctors started you on methylprednisolone. It improves your chances of recovery. Damage to the corticospinal tract—"

"Kana," I interrupt, feebly. "Stop... with all the... long words. Where... did you... _learn_ them... anyway?"

Her eyes are haunted. "I asked the doctors to give me all the literature they could on your condition. I wanted to know exactly what they were doing for you. Exactly what your injury means for you. For us. And, well... I've had days here to think about it."

I was unconscious for eleven days. I don't know if that's normal for spinal injury patients. Kana doesn't either. What she _does_ know is that the doctors are happy with my progress. The damage won't heal, but it's not getting any worse. 'Apoptosis' is another big word Kana throws around when talking about my injury. It means when cells commit suicide in an attempt to minimise the spread of damage. Fortunately, that hasn't happened either. Because nerve cells don't grow back.

My head and shoulders are held in position with a brace, to prevent further trauma to my spinal cord. The critical period is nearly over, though. The doctors will probably let me out of it in another few days. For the moment, however, all I can do is stare at the white ceiling. There are small holes punched in the tiles, I've noticed. In my more desperate moments, I try to count them.

Kana hasn't left my side. She says that Mom and Dad have been to see me a couple of times, but that they're not entirely comfortable with the situation. Or with Kana herself, for that matter. I might still be a bit hazy on that afternoon when I broke in on Kana and Hiromi-san, but I do remember what I'd said to Mom before leaving the house that day:

_I love her as a woman. I love Kana. My life is hers._

It can't be easy for Mom and Dad to face Kana now. They took her into their lives when they didn't have to. They watched as their son devoted himself to his 'little sister', sometimes to the detriment of his own interests. Instead of studying, I would visit Kana. Instead of playing with my friends, I would visit Kana. Years of afternoons spent in a hospital room, spending time with my little sister. Falling in love with her. And her with me.

And now, this. This accident would never have happened if I hadn't gone to Kana's store that afternoon. Do they... do they blame her?

"Kana?"

"Yes, Taka?"

"What was he... _doing_ there?"

"Who?" she asks, looking puzzled.

"Hiromi... san."

"Oh." She bites her lip. "He just... showed up at the store that afternoon. Out of the blue. I think he missed me. He wanted to know if we could... if we could try again. But I had to tell him no."

"What did you... _say_ to him?"

"I didn't tell him about us, not at the start. I just said that I was seeing someone else. But he kept pressing me to tell him who it was... and he wouldn't let me avoid it. And I... I can't keep _lying_ to everyone, Taka." She looks at me, pleadingly. "You understand, don't you? It would be betraying both of us to keep lying. Both you _and_ me."

"He didn't... take it... well."

"No." Kana sighs. "He's a bit... fiery, sometimes. I think... I think that's what attracted me to him. But I wasn't expecting _that_ reaction from him." She takes my hand and wraps both of hers around it. "He was horrified at what happened. I... I don't know when he ran off. I was in shock. I called an ambulance and sat with you until it arrived. I held your hand and cried. I... I kept praying that you'd be all right."

"And... am I?" I ask.

She smiles at me, brushing my fingers against her cheek. "Of course you are. You're going to be fine."

* * *

Days pass. Kana's promise doesn't come true.

As expected, the doctors let me out of the spinal brace a few days later. It's a relief to be able to lie flat on the bed, and I find that I can even turn my head a little, though only with a huge effort. Kana's always there to make sure I'm comfortable, though. She helps sit me up when I want to look out the window. She turns on the TV when I'm bored. At meal times, she feeds me the soft, easily-digestible food with gentle patience.

My hands still won't do much more than twitch. My legs are a bit better – when the physician comes in to perform sensory tests, I can generally feel the pricks much sooner than when she does the same thing to my arms.

Kana confidently cites studies from the literature that show that the majority of spinal cord injury patients recover substantially within six weeks. I'm doing wonderfully, she assures me. My progress is exactly as expected.

_What_ progress?

At nights, I can't even roll over. I can't scratch my nose without calling a nurse in to do it for me. And if the call button falls from my hand, I can't even do that. I can't control my bowels or my bladder. The nurses have to clean me up each time.

Kana, what if I don't get better? What if... what if I'm like this for the rest of my life?

The nights are the worst. During the day, at least, Kana's there to support me. She holds my hand and she brings the promise of fresh air into the room. She brings flowers and smiles. She reads to me from the newspaper, or from magazines. She kisses my cheek; I still have feeling above my neck. She never seems to flag or tire.

I wonder who's running the store for her while she's gone. Maybe it's closed. That can't be good for business.

I worry about her during the nights. I worry about what she'll do if I don't get better. How can she live her own life while she's stuck in here every day looking after _me_?

In the night, I lie in my white hospital pyjamas and stare up at the ceiling, or manage to flop my head sideways to look at the drawn curtains. I know the moon is out there. I know it's shining down on Kana.

I've never felt so helpless. I've never felt so alone. And I miss her so much when she's not here.

Kana...


	9. Learning

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**9. Learning  
**

by Darkling

* * *

Eight weeks have passed since the accident.

I'm sitting up on the bed, doing my range-of-motion exercises. I can do that now. I can struggle up to a sitting position without help. I can move my legs, jerkily, if I try hard enough. My hands are still useless, though. My arms are weak – far weaker than my legs – but at least they move.

I brace my left arm against the inside of my left knee. I barely feel the pressure, but I can see what I'm doing. Gently, I push my thigh outwards with my wrist, keeping the knee bent. I hold it there for a count of ten.

I can't move my joints voluntarily, but I have to keep them working or they'll stiffen up. My therapist taught me these stretches. I do them five times a day. More, if I'm bored or restless, which seems to happen a lot these days.

"Kana?"

Kana's watching me with a loving smile. At my call, she comes around to the left side of the bed and slips her hand under my knee, helping me to draw it up to my chest. She holds it there and starts to count.

"One... two... three..."

My arms are still too weak to hold my leg in place, but Kana doesn't seem to mind helping me. If anything, she seems to enjoy it.

"Ten," Kana says. She lowers my knee a little bit, keeping her hand where it is. I wish I could feel her touch, but there still isn't much sensation in my legs. "Ready for the second one?"

"Go ahead."

Kana lifts my knee again. She holds it in place. She looks into my eyes, smiling, and counts to ten. Morning exercises are always so much better with Kana here.

She went back to work a few weeks ago, but she's changed her hours in order to see as much of me as possible. She spends an hour here in the mornings, and closes the bookstore early to be back here before evening. She says the Kobayashis don't mind. I'm not sure she's telling me the truth.

"Nine... ten. Three more to go," Kana says.

"Autumn's here already," I say, as I gaze out the window.

"Four... five... It's pretty, isn't it, Taka? Eight... nine..."

"I wonder if I'll still be here when winter comes."

"You can't rush things," she reprimands me, gently, as she lets my knee back down. "Your recovery will take exactly as long as you need. That's the way it works."

I sigh. "I wish..." A stray thought flits into my head. I'm not even sure where it came from. "I wish I had a mirror, Kana. A mirror... that shows the future."

She looks at me, startled. "What?"

"Sorry. It's a strange thing to say, I know. But the idea just popped into my head for some reason."

"Number four," she says, lifting my knee. "Count for me."

"One," I say. "Two. Three..."

She'll have to leave soon, to go back to work. It's best to get these exercises out of the way while she's here to help. We finish the five sets for my left knee. She moves to the other side of the bed, and we begin again with the right.

I count the seconds. Kana holds my knee, looking out the window. She looks more thoughtful than usual.

* * *

Nine weeks have passed since the accident.

Sitting up is almost easy now. They've installed a bar hanging from a chain above my head that I can hook my elbow over, to pull myself up. My fingers move now, but they won't grip. I can actually feel the warmth of Kana's hand when she holds mine now. She cried the first time I told her that.

My legs keep getting stronger. They're talking about starting me on ambulation training soon. In a swimming pool, to start off with. Baby steps. As Kana says, it will take as long as I need.

It's late in the afternoon. The days are still bright and warm, but they've been gradually getting shorter. I know this because Kana always comes back at about this time. Over the past week or two, the colour of the light on her face when she walks in has been growing deeper and richer.

Kana arrives with her usual smile. She's carrying a small notebook. She kisses my cheek, then fusses around my bed, fluffing up my pillow and asking if there's anything I need. She pours a glass of water for me and holds it to my lips. She's always very gentle with me.

"What's with the notebook?" I ask. My voice is stronger, too, but I find myself reluctant to use it now. Sometimes Kana and I will sit in silence for minutes or hours at a time. She'll hold my hand. I guess we don't really _need_ words...

"Here." Sitting down next to me on the bed, she flicks on the overhead light and opens up the book. Its pages are filled with her neat handwriting. She flips through them until she finds the one she's looking for, and points to a particular section with her finger. "This bit here. Read it."

I read it out loud. "_I wish I knew the future. I wish... I wish I had a mirror that shows the future. I'd look into it with all my heart_... Kana?"

She blushes. "This is my diary. I was... Sometimes I'd write in it, while you were unconscious. And since what I was writing and what I wanted to _say_ to you were the same thing... Sometimes I'd read it to you. I'd tell you the things that were in my heart. I wanted you to know how much I wanted you back."

"I... I don't _remember_ hearing it, but I must have," I say, touched by her trust. Kana's diary. Her most intimate thoughts and feelings. "Thank you, Kana."

She leans across and kisses the corner of my mouth. When she draws back, I can feel moisture on my cheek. Kana's tears. She smiles at me, her cheeks damp. "I'm... I'm glad you heard me."

"Kana. Kana, I lo—" I pause. Somehow, this doesn't feel like the right time or place to be saying things like that. But...

"I know." Her hand fumbles out and takes mine. She sits there, looking at me fondly. The light deepens.

"You... you called me back." I curl my hand weakly in her grasp. "You're the only one who could."

"Taka." Her fingers tighten around mine. I can feel them. I can feel her warmth.

* * *

Three months have passed since the accident.

Kana's staring at me, biting her lip. My arms are trembly and shaking, and I want to let them relax, but I can't. Not yet.

I'm on an intensive program of physical rehabilitation now. My legs, though still weak, can support my weight for brief periods of time. I can grip large objects, clumsily. Most of the numb patches on my arms and legs have faded.

I'm in the physical therapy room, using the parallel bars to aid my walking. My arms are locked at my sides, keeping me braced upright. My legs feel wobbly. The need to shift my weight is terrifying me. I'm afraid to leave this safe, balanced position in case I fall over. I'm maybe two-thirds of the way along the railings. Each inch has required a superhuman effort. I don't know if I can make it any further.

Kana's at the other end, though. She's watching me and holding her breath. Yamada-san, the therapist, has scolded her for calling out to me before, though, so she's not saying anything. She just keeps her eyes locked to me, urging me on silently.

Kana. For you.

With a sharp, almost sobbing breath, I jerk my left wrist forward. The equilibrium of my body shifts. I start tipping over. Desperately, I heave my right shoulder. My groping right hand lurches forward to come level with the left one. My arms strain to hold me up as I drag my left foot forward, then the right. My arms lock again. I have balance. Another few inches. My brow is covered with sweat. I'm sure my palms must be clammy too.

Why does it have to be so hard?

I won't think about it. I'll think about Kana. My left hand stutters forward again. Right wrist pulls level. I shuffle my feet. My legs can support me. I just have to keep my centre of balance. I just need to stay focused.

Kana. She had her hair trimmed last week. The fringe is feathery and soft. She always looks so pretty.

Business is good at the store. It's not doing too badly, even considering the reduction in business hours. She's happy with the way things are going.

I sacrifice my balance again. It's all a part of walking. You can't be afraid, Taka. Kana is waiting for you. Don't be afraid. Now, catch yourself. Quickly... No—!

My right elbow gives way, and I slip sideways, crumpling against the railing. Vaguely, out of the corner of my eye, I see Kana start forward desperately, but Yamada-san holds out his arm to keep her back.

"Come on, Taka," he says, evenly. "Push with your arms. Get your balance back. There's not far to go."

Push? _Push_? My arms won't _work_, you bastard! How can... how can you stand there, strong and healthy, and casually tell me to _push_? Have _you_ ever been through this? Have you ever felt what it's like to be this... this _weak_ and helpless?

I can't do it. I can't. I'm hanging there limply. My arm is twisted and bent. Completely out of my control.

"Taka." Kana looks at Yamada-san, slightly daunted, but says it again. "Taka, please. Keep trying."

Kana? You too? What do you kn— Kana? What do you...

But she does. She knows _exactly_ what it's like to be this weak. The irrational fit of rage passes over and through me. Kana. Did you ever resent me when I told _you_ that you had to be strong?

It hurts. It's almost impossible. But I push my arm. I force my quivering legs to move. I strain with everything I have. And... my arm straightens out. The elbow locks into place.

I'm upright again.

My breathing is shallow. Shuddering. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I wish I could just let go, but I can't. Not now. There's a long way to go yet.

Kana. I'm coming.

* * *

It's now more than four months since the accident.

I'm mobile now. I can push myself around in a wheelchair, on level ground. I don't have enough strength in my hands to tackle inclines, though. My fingers can't grip the wheels firmly enough. I can stand, for decent lengths of time. I'm getting better at walking, though the effort still exhausts me. Progress seems to be coming slower now. It's too slow for my liking.

Kana is wheeling me around the hospital grounds. I'm dressed warmly in a robe and scarf, with a blanket over my legs. Winter is here. The trees have lost all their leaves, and the ground is covered in frost. Who knows? In a few more weeks, it might snow.

"The white season's here, Taka," Kana says, her voice subdued. It's clear and still out here in the cold winter morning – so clear that our voices seem like they could carry forever through the crisp air and never fade.

"I was hoping I wouldn't be here to see it," I say, quietly. Kana's hand floats down from behind me and squeezes my shoulder.

"It'll happen, Taka," she says, as she always does. "The doctors are always telling me how well you're doing. Another month; two at the most, and—"

"I just want to _walk_ again."

Kana draws the wheelchair to a halt. She reaches down and engages the handbrake. Coming around to crouch before me, she places her hand over mine, underneath the blanket. "I want you to as well, Taka," she says. "And you will. You just have to—"

"—'give it time'!" My voice rises, high and harsh. "_Everything_ takes time! If you wait long enough, miracles are _bound_ to happen, aren't they? Because that's the way the world works! Everything works out for the best, doesn't it? _Doesn't it?_"

She recoils from me, her violet eyes reflecting the leaden grey of the clouds. Behind her, there's an empty flowerbed, barren and frosted over. Behind that, a tree's leafless branches claw starkly at the sky above us.

"Taka," she tries, after a moment. "I can't promise you anything. You know I can't. But I _can_ tell you that—"

"Shut up!" I snarl.

She flinches. "Taka, I was just..."

"I _know_ what you were going to say. And I'm sick of it. There are no guarantees, Kana! Who says I won't be stuck in this chair for the rest of my life? The doctors tell me the same things they tell you. They tell us the chance for 'recovery'. But what about the people who _never_ recover? What if... what if _this_ is the best I can ever expect?"

"Taka, you can't think that way," she says, desperately. "You can't let yourself think about anything but a full recovery."

It's so easy for her to say it. Kana, crouching there with her perfect balance and her working legs. _Her_ body hasn't betrayed her. She's not the one who can't even hold a spoon. She's not the one who can barely control her bowel movements. No, no – she's Kana, the angel of mercy. She's Kana, giving up her time and energy for her poor brother, the _invalid_!

Suddenly I can't stand it. I can't stand looking at her. For the first time in my life, I look at Kana... and I despise her.

When I speak, none of this comes through in my voice. It's tightly controlled and flat. Emotionless. "I'm tired of being a burden to you, Kana. I don't want to put you through this anymore."

"Taka." She digs her hand under the blanket and pulls my hand out, stroking it anxiously. "Taka, what's wrong with you? You know that I'd never consider you a burden, no matter how much you inconvenience m—"

I inconvenience her. I _inconvenience_ her. The words bubble and sear at my brain. She's still talking; her lips are moving, but I can't hear her words. Kana, is _that_ what I'm doing to you? Then... then why don't I make this _easy_ for you?

"You can stop coming."

She breaks off, staring at me. All the expression drains away from her face. Her eyes are wide and glassy.

"No," she whispers. "Please, no. Taka, don't—"

"I don't need you anymore, Kana." I bite the words out from between clenched teeth. "I don't _want_ you anymore. Don't come back. Don't ever come back."

She reels back as if I had just kicked her.

"Go back to your store. Go back to your precious _life_. I'll live my life. And you... you can live yours." I stare at her coldly. I don't let the hurt in her eyes get to me. No, Kana, this is for the best.

"Taka." Her voice, the expression in her eyes: they're heartbroken. Shattered. "Taka, don't... Don't tell me to go... _Please_..." And now tears spill from her eyes. Her beautiful violet eyes. Her breath mists and billows in front of her as she frantically stares at me, still clinging to my hand. Trembling, she brings it up to her lips.

I wrench it from her grasp.

"Leave me alone, Kana!" I scream at her. "Go away and leave me _alone_!"

"Taka, no." She's not breathing. Her heart's not beating. She's as cold and still as the winter morning, and the only colour in her face is the bruised violet of her irises. "I... I c–can't..."

"I don't need you! I don't _want_ you! Don't come back! _Never_ come back!" I lash her with my words. I pound her with them, relentlessly. "I don't need you anymore, Kana! I never needed you as much as _you_ needed _me_! Never! How pathetic do you think I am? How sad and _useless_ do you think I am?" And then I pause, struggling for breath.

Sorry, Kana. I have to do this. It's for the best.

My voice is low and venomous.

"I don't love you anymore, Kana."

"_No!_" Kana's cry is filled with agony. She crumples forward on the path, her shoulders heaving with sobs. Her small hands claw weakly at the frozen earth. She whimpers quietly, like a wounded animal. "No, _Taka_..."

But I'm already reaching down. I'm pulling at the handbrake, releasing it. I turn the wheelchair around. And I roll away from Kana. I leave her there, crying, under the cold grey sky.


	10. My Sister, My Strength

_Note: this story contains spoilers regarding the first, 'best' ending of Kana Little Sister. Kana Little Sister is the property of D.O. and G-Collections._

**10. My Sister, My Strength  
**

by Darkling

* * *

Four days without Kana.

"Come on, Taka," Yamada-san is saying. I stare at him dully. What am I doing here? What does... what does _any_ of this mean?

I'm braced awkwardly on a set of crutches. Crutches give greater mobility. We've been working up to this for weeks now. My legs are finally strong enough. This is another goal.

Was I... really looking _forward_ to this?

"Crutches, Taka!" I remember how cheerful Kana's voice sounded when Yamada-san told us about them. "How wonderful!"

The ground seems so far away. These... these pieces of wood and metal can't protect me. In fact, if I fall, I could hurt myself on them. I could end up worse than I am now.

Kana. I stare at the floor and it starts to blur.

"Taka!" Yamada-san barks. "What _are_ you, a quitter? Get moving!"

"Can't..." I mutter, slumping forward on the crutches. "I... I can't..."

"Go on, just give it a try. You _wanted_ to do this, remember? You and Kana both told me so!"

Kana. Don't... don't talk about Kana. _Please_ don't say her name.

I won't... I won't be able to do this. I won't be able to walk. It's not going to happen.

"You've been wanting to do this for _weeks_, Taka! We tried it last week and you couldn't wait to give it another go! So what makes it any different now?"

"Because I'm _afraid_!" I scream at him.

I'm... afraid. I was never this afraid before. Not while Kana was here. Not with her standing at Yamada-san's side, silently calling to me. And now... here I am, huddled on the floor, shaking.

Kana.

What... what am I without you?

* * *

Eight days without Kana.

The hospital psychiatrist has come to see me. He sits across from me in my room as I sit listlessly in my wheelchair. Pale winter light streams in through the windows.

"I hear your progress has been slipping," he says, gently.

"What... what _is_ progress?" I ask him. "Just a set of arbitrary goals. They don't make any difference. Tomorrow or next month... a year from now... It's all the same."

"Is there any particular reason you're feeling this way?"

"I'm just tired."

He regards me quietly, for a moment. Then... "Why doesn't Kana come to see you anymore?"

"K–Kana?" I look at him, and my lips start to tremble. My breath rattles in my throat. The longing and the _missing_ well up inside my chest. "I... don't know. She's b–busy," I stammer. "She has things to... to do. And I... I'm just a burd—" I burst into tears before I can finish lying to him. My hands clutch weakly at the armrests of my wheelchair. I hang my head.

He touches my shoulder, and he prescribes pills for me. I take them and, for days, I don't feel anything. I'm neither happy nor sad. I can think about Kana and it doesn't hurt. I wonder what I was making such a fuss about. Why did I ever feel the need to cry over her?

My physiotherapy starts up again. I tackle it with mild interest. The crutches make life easier. They're a lot better than the wheelchair. I get to go downstairs in the elevator and buy things from the cafeteria.

The psychiatrist visits me again. Pleased with my improved outlook, he changes my dosage, and the haze starts to lift. I can feel again.

And all I can do is _miss_ her.

I can't ask her to come back. I was the one who told her to go away! It's better this way. Better for both of us. But there are nights when I can't stop crying. My body aches from the intensive rehab, but my heart hurts more.

I struggle on without her. And I think about her all the time.

The days without her stretch into weeks. Three weeks without her. Four. It's good. She's obviously come to the same conclusion that I have. She doesn't need me.

She... she doesn't need me.

* * *

Five weeks without Kana.

The end of my hospital stay is finally in sight. The doctors and the physiotherapists are pleased enough with my progress that they're going to let me go home. I'll have to keep coming back in for rehab – five days a week, to start off with – but still, it's independence, of a sort.

I can hobble my way around with a cane, now. My hands still aren't as strong as they used to be, and my fingers tremble when I try to pick up small objects or perform fiddly tasks. That's never going to change. It's something that'll be with me for the rest of my life.

Two weeks. Two weeks until I'm allowed out of here.

It's a clear, bright winter morning, and I'm up before the nurse arrives to wake me. The TV is on, with the sound turned down low. Out of habit, I'm doing my old range-of-motion exercises. They're not really necessary anymore, but they've become a part of my morning routine in here. They comfort me, in a way.

I'm pulling my right knee up, holding it in place and counting quietly under my breath to myself, when the door opens.

And Kana walks in.

I freeze, staring at her. She edges her way inside and quietly shuts the door behind her, before looking up at me with a nervous smile.

"Hi, Bro," she says. "I'm back."

"Kana." My mind is completely blank. "Um... welcome back."

Awkwardly, she drifts forward. "Do you want some help?" Without waiting for a reply, she gently slips her hand under my knee and helps lift it towards my chest. The motion brings her closer to the side of the bed. Closer to me. She starts to count. "One... tw—"

And we're kissing desperately before she makes it to three.

* * *

Kana's sitting at the window, looking out over the snow-covered landscape. I'm at the foot of the bed, idly swinging my legs back and forth, watching her. I hadn't forgotten how beautiful she is. I don't think I could ever forget that. But I _did_ forget how much joy it brings me to look at her.

"I used to get so sad when winter came," Kana says. "The garden outside my window would just... die. The trees would lose their leaves, the flowers would all wither away, and all that was left was... white. The snow would cover everything. It was so sad to see everything I'd come to love over the spring and summer... Seeing it all fade away. All the colours gone, reduced to white.

"Then, months later, spring would come again. I'd watch the gardeners and the other patients replanting the flower beds. They'd change the arrangement every year so that when everything was in bloom, it all looked completely different. Everything riotous and pretty and new. At least, until winter came again. I hated it every year, Taka. Over and over again, nature took away something that I loved. I couldn't understand why it had to keep happening.

"But then... I realised that what nature was doing was creating a blank canvas. That's what the white season means, Taka. A chance to start all over again. Where you might have had pink last season, this time you can have yellow. Blue instead of white. Purple instead of red. It's an end, but it's also a beginning. We have to leave the old things behind if we want to reach out for the new.

"You can..." She sighs, softly, still staring out the window. "You can colour things in all over again."

I hop down from the bed and hobble over to her side. The floor tiles are cold, even through my socks. I put my hand on her shoulder, and she leans her head sideways a little, resting her cheek against my fingers.

"I... I lost my job, Taka," she says, quietly. "Hiromi-kun must have said something to someone, because word got out... and the Kobayashis had to let me go. They couldn't afford to have that kind of notoriety attached to the store. It would be bad for business."

"I'm sorry, Kana."

"It's... it's all right." She nuzzles my fingers with her cheek, gently moving her head back and forth. "They didn't want to do it. Mrs Kobayashi even cried. And they gave me a very generous final bonus for all the work I've done."

"And... your apartment?"

"I had to move out. I'm back in my old room at home, for the moment. Mom and Dad don't seem to mind..."

The thought washes through me, warming me to my toes. Kana... Kana's _home_ again. And in a couple of weeks, I'll be there too. "So everything's back the way it used to be," I say, smiling.

"Well, no. I haven't bothered to unpack everything." She's not looking at me as she says this. "I'm... not planning on staying very long."

My heart sinks.

"That's why... That's why I knew I had to come and see you. I wanted to respect your wishes; I really did. But I was so lonely without you. There were so many times I reached for the phone, or found myself halfway to the train station to come here... but I had to remember what you'd said. You didn't want me anymore."

"Kana..." I whisper. "I... I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it."

She turns her head to look at me, a bright smile shining through the tears. "But then I decided it didn't matter what you wanted. I decided I was going to be selfish and just care about _me_, for a change. I'm going to keep loving you, because it makes _me_ happy. And that's when I made up my mind to come back. Because... because..." She scrambles to her feet and kisses me impulsively, throwing her arms around me. I stagger backwards, bumping up against the bed. She pulls back a bit and gazes at me happily.

"Because I'm never going to stop loving you, Taka."

"Kana... ouch..."

"Oh!" She looks at me, eyes wide, and loosens her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry. Here, hop on the bed. I forgot, for a moment..."

Her eyes are warm and tender. She helps me up onto the bed, and scrambles up next to me. She holds my hand. We kiss again, lingeringly, as she kneels there beside me.

"So... so what will you do now?" I ask. She pauses, drawing back, and looks down at our hands. Hers on top of mine, fingers interlinked.

"I... I thought I'd move to Osaka," she says, softly. "It's far enough away to make a fresh start. It's by the ocean – I've always wanted to live by the sea. I've been ringing to enquire about apartments, and I found a small one that's relatively cheap and sounds nice. It... it'll be available when spring comes. The third of March, to be exact. That's when I've planned the move. I... I went and bought a ticket a few days ago..."

"I see." I can't look at her. She's leaving me again. And this time she's going even further away... Something's shrinking inside me. It feels like... I think it's my heart. "It sounds good, Kana."

"I'm excited about it, yes," she says. "I'll find a job doing... something. Maybe at another bookstore. Maybe something else completely. Whatever comes along. I wonder if..."

My hand in hers. Her eyes as she talks, their clear gaze looking out the window, towards the future. And the growing ache in my chest. I can't stand it, but I can't ask her to stay, either. What can I possibly offer her? I still have my rehabilitation to think of. I have a long way to go yet.

Quietly, helplessly, I start to cry.

"I... I've realised my life has never been 'normal', Taka," she's saying. "But, to be honest, I don't think I'd want it that way. I've loved every minute of it. I've lived, Taka. I've lived with you here beside me. The person I love, sharing my pain and my joy. I want to keep living, unafraid."

"I..." I can't say anything or my words will betray me. I don't want her to go. But at the same time, her plans sound so fixed, so settled. She knows the path she wants to take. And who am I... who am I to stand in her way?

"Taka." She lifts my hand, the warmth of her fingers comforting against mine. "Taka, please don't cry."

"But..."

"I've been making some inquiries," she murmurs, stroking my hand. "You can finish your studies at Osaka University. There are hospitals in Osaka with excellent outpatient rehab programs. I've talked to Mom and Dad, and they're willing to contribute some of the costs..."

I look up at her, barely able to comprehend what she's saying. "You mean...?"

She smiles at me, but it's slightly wavering, tempered with fear. "I... I bought _two_ tickets, Taka..."

I let loose a shuddering breath. Tears spill from my eyes. "Kana..."

"That is... if you want to be with me," she says, hesitantly. "As much as I want to be with you..."

She's in my arms. She's holding me tight. Our faces are pressed together and we're kissing. Our tears run together.

"Yes, Kana. Yes."

* * *

"Well? Are you ready?"

"Just about."

It's leaving day, at last. It's still the middle of winter; outside the window, the sun shines weakly on the snow-covered grounds. I've finished packing my things – it's surprising how few of my belongings are here at the hospital, considering how long I've been living here. But I won't miss this room. No, I'm going somewhere better. Home first, of course, for a few weeks. But then...

My cane is sitting on the bed. I'm just about to reach for it when Kana comes whirling back inside, her eyes alight with glee.

"Look, Taka!" she squeals, laying two pieces of card on the bed in front of me. "Look!"

They're train tickets to Osaka. The day and time is neatly printed on their glossy surface. One of them has my name on it. Taka Todo. And the other...

"Kana... Ichida?" I look up at Kana, frowning. She smiles, somewhat embarrassed.

"It was my father's name," she says. "And, well... now it's mine, too."

"You... you changed your name?" For a moment, I'm taken aback. I can't believe it. How can a father she doesn't even remember be more important to her than the parents who raised her? The brother who loves her? Why would she want to cut herself off from us this way?

"Yep." She grins. "It's not completely finalised yet, but it'll all be done within the month. Before we leave for Osaka."

"So..." I say, a bit sullenly. "So it's goodbye to 'Kana Todo' forever, then, I guess?"

She takes my hand, holding it loosely in both of hers. She looks up at me, almost shyly. "No. Not forever. One day... I hope... One day, I want to be Kana Todo again."

It takes me a couple of moments to catch onto her meaning, and my eyes open wide with surprise when I do. She giggles and kisses me. She tugs at my hand. "Let's go... Bro."

It's the last time she ever calls me that.

* * *

I'm riding down in the elevator with Kana Ichida, my girlfriend. We're holding hands. She's holding my sports bag in her free hand, and I'm resting lightly on my cane with mine.

"Kana Ichida," I say again, testing the sound of it.

"What?" She smiles at me. "Don't tell me you don't like it?"

"I don't know... To me, you've always been Kana _imouto-chan_."

"Not anymore, Taka," she says, lightly.

"No," I agree. "Not anymore."

My Kana. Not _imouto_. Not Todo. Not even Ichida.

Just... Kana.

"You do realise you're turning your back on a normal life?" I ask, wanting to be sure.

The elevator bings, and the doors glide open in front of us. We step out into the hospital's foyer.

"Normal is boring," Kana says, coming to a halt and digging in her purse. "_White_ is boring. I want us to colour our lives in together, Taka. To colour ourselves as _we_ want. Here." She reaches across and tucks the train ticket into my right hand. "Here's the future. Let's walk out and face it together."

"I love you, Kana," I tell her. She looks across at me, at my profile, and smiles.

And we open the doors to the white season with two tickets in our hands. Kana's there beside me. I know she'll always be there. I grab her hand and squeeze it, hard. She squeezes back and laughs, tossing her hair. We walk out into the sunlight – the two of us, together.

My sister, my Kana.

My strength.

* * *

_Read more of Darkling's Kana Little Sister fanfics at **kana. darklingnet. com**._


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